12 in 2014

Here is a little preview of our past year and all we did. We had ups and downs but ultimately thankful that God provided in more ways than one. :)

 We started the year with a new niece and celebrating a cousin's new journey into marriage. Plus 7 months pregnant with our 1st baby girl! Also lots of worries with her head measuring small, but beyond grateful things finally looked good! ;)

Had a fun Valentines with my boys and enjoying our last month as a family of 4. Date to Sweet Cece's for some yummy frozen yogurt! I was also really getting into nesting and having everything ready for Karissa's arrival. Beginning to experience contractions and restless nights at the end of February. :)

Karissa Kay born March 1, 2014, so little and absolutely beautiful!! Such a relief she was perfect and healthy, after all the struggles with the pregnancy and coming 4 weeks early! Her birth story is quite the eventful one, haha. It was quite the month for our family of 5! :)

Welcoming spring with ripe mulberries, a trip to Silver City for Easter, and our first minivan purchase (used). Still adjusting to life with 3 kids was challenging for us. My husband had his first job offer out of town and we really had to discern what we would ultimately choose. :)

Good ol' May...our busiest month! Lucas, the hubby graduated with a Bachelor's in Secondary Education with an emphasis in Mathematics. Celebrated Mother's Day with Karissa's Baptism and hubby's 27th Birthday!! We also celebrated the beginning of summer with Ezekiel's 2nd Birthday and a new cool pool for the kids. It was quite the eventful month and ended with Lucas having three job offers in three different cities in our state and finally choosing to move to his hometown near family. :)

Celebrated our 5th year anniversary with some good wine after packing for the big move! So exciting to reflect on our relationship as a married couple and looking to the year's to come with great anticipation. Also stressed about the big move and changes! :)

Packed up and ready for a 4 hr. trip away to our new home!! It was stressful and and super exhausting! We barely fit our things in the truck and made the drive safely. So thankful my parents came to help!!! We were welcomed with lots of rain, too! :) 

Enjoying summer's end and the awesome new big yard to play in!! We got most unpacked and organized the most important things, (like the kitchen, lol). Got my first blowout on I-40 driving to pick up my new glasses and feeling so grateful to have family to rescue me! Lucas started teaching and spent a lot of time setting up his classroom, thankful for having a creative mom to help him! :)

Had a fun month celebrating our oldest son Lukrik's 4th Birthday with a Spiderman theme. Karissa began eating solids, sitting, and rolling around. Still getting into a rhythm for our family being a new city, liking the quietness and friendly people in our new community. :) 

Fall is here and to kick off my favorite season we took a trip to the pumpkin patch and had a blast!! Spent the month painting and carving pumpkins. Baked pumpkin bread and made green chile stew for the first high school football game, took the kids to their first football game (they actually loved it). Plus Lucas joined a community band playing the tuba. We also went to the Balloon Fiesta with cousins and checked out our local library. We got a new T.V. and had fun trick or treating in our new neighborhood! :) 

Had the first snow fall of the season and we were excited to see so much! Celebrated my 29th Birthday! Took a trip to Silver City for Thanksgiving with my family! Had fun adventures at a park and walking in the downtown area. :) 

A beautiful and exhausting end to a great year! The kids were sick for most of this month and luckily got better right before Christmas. My second niece turned 1 yr. old and my other sister is having her first baby in August 2015!!! Had a quiet and peaceful Christmas, but very love filled and amazing company!!!! :)

So I look forward to all this new year has in store for us!! New goals and growth! Happy New Year!!!!!

"In Him we are also chosen, destined in accord with the purpose of the One who accomplishes all things according to the intention of His will." Ephesisans 1:11 :) <3 

  

Heavenly hands

Have you ever just gazed at a sweet baby's little hands? Or ever wondered at the strength of their smallness?

Lately I have been obsessed with Karissa's little hands. She has begun to hold me while she nurses. It made me reflect on how fragile and precious life can be. Infants depend on us to nourish, care for, and love them. When seeking comfort they cling to us with their tiny hands. Its sweet feeling their soft little hands grasp your big rough hand, as if asking for help. It made me compare it to my need for Christ. There are times in my life I feel fragile and in need of comfort. I reach out and cling to my heavenly Father for that feeling of safety and love. Like a child I need comfort and reassurance that it will be okay, that I am safe with Him. "Show Your marvelous loving-kindness by Your right hand, O You who save those who trust in You from those who rise up against them. Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings." Psalm 17: 7-8 

So whenever you feel fragile and helpless, think of this verse. Remember we just have to call out and reach for our Heavenly Father's hand to comfort us. :) <3

The big move

We moved four hours away from the place I was raised. I can't yet say that I am recovered, haha. It was exciting, stressful, exhausting, and sad. Yes, all those emotions, lol! I never really thought I would leave Las Cruces, but we did. I cried as we drove away and it was difficult saying goodbye to family and friends!! :(
I can say its bittersweet as we are moving on to new adventures for our family and leaving behind old ones. So many sweet  memories from this place: growing up here, meeting Lucas, getting married, having our children, and graduating from NMSU. New memories to make because having grandparents for the kids near by again is awesome!!!

Now it was stressful because the kids caught colds that week and all of them wanted to be comforted by only me! It was rough trying to pack, clean and get ready to move. Thankfully we had my parents and a cousin help big time to pack the truck!!! Family is awesome!! :) Also our stuff barely fit, haha.

I am still adjusting but it is awesome having such a big house and yard!!!

 Its also been hard because I miss our old church. Everyone here at our new church has been super welcoming! :) I do look forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for us. :)

Rediscovering Catholicism

I had a dream about sharing my journey to becoming Catholic again. I never thought I would be Catholic again in my life. Mostly because the church I was going to before was very negative about Catholics. So before I get ahead of myself I have to start with how I got to that non-denominational church.

I was raised Catholic from birth until my teenage years. I was taught to have faith and be a good person. That was enough until I was 17 years old and I could feel I needed more. So I began going to a Bible-study with my best friend that her uncle led from a Christian non-denominational view. It was great because they taught me how to truly love the Lord and live for Him, I also began to love studying the scripture. This later led me to another church that had a Bible college which I went to for 1 year. I was going to this church and loved it! I met a lot of Christian people that are still a big part of my life now.
 Then through a friend from this church I met Lucas who is Catholic.The non denominational church I was going to had the idea that Catholic's are not Christian. I knew it was not true because I still had family and friends that were Catholic, who love the Lord. So I thought of Lucas as  a guy who didn't even go to church and had no relationship with the Lord. Then I got to know him and learned about how he actually did have a relationship with the Lord. I could see how much Lucas loved the Lord and truly lived for Him. He was serving on the campus ministry team at his church and you could see his passion to teach others about Christ's love for us.

I asked Lucas questions about teachings of the Catholic church in comparison to non denominational Christians. He answered so well and it made sense, plus it actually did not go against scripture. I didn't realize at the time, but the Holy Spirit truly led him to answer all my questions with wisdom and sincerity. I still doubted him and when I found out he was praying and discerning becoming a priest, I thought I could get him to convert. Little did I know his testimony of Christ in his life was converting my heart and making me fall for him! (Yes, Lucas was contemplating priesthood!) As Lucas and my relationship grew, my heart longed more and more to be in communion with Christ through the Eucharist again. I had to really pray hard about the decision I had to make because I felt drawn to the Catholic church again, but felt guilty because I was hearing it was wrong from my non-denominational friends. I never regret leaving that church or the friendships that were lost from my conversion. My relationship with our Lord grew stronger and I finally felt whole again when I chose to return to the Catholic faith. Plus, I grew new friendships that helped me grow more spiritually!! I found the thing I was missing most were the sacraments that the Catholic church has. I love my faith and more importantly the Lord!!! :)

 Bottom line is no matter what Christian faith you follow as long as you are Christ's completely and truly live for Him, your religion title is not what matters. But in my opinion Catholic's are the bomb!!!!! :) <3

Psalm 27:4 "One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, And to meditate in His temple." 

Sorrows turned into joy!

I have been reflecting on how the Lord truly turns sorrows into joy! Since Karissa is two months old now I just think back to my pregnancy. It was rough and even if it had not been labor always is. I am grateful that my prayers were answered and everything went well. Prayers are always answered in His timing. :)

When we had decided to have another baby, we both prayed for a little girl. Really it would have been okay had we had another boy, but our heart's desired a girl. I knew it would be a blessing no matter what gender and had to trust that the Lord knew best. Little did I know the blessing would not be without some suffering. Here is the thing, all my blessings have not been without a little suffering. I am not complaining about the  suffering because they make me stronger and draw me closer to Christ. I never like to dwell on those sufferings, but for the first weeks home I did. I am sure every mom struggles at first to find joy in the challenges that motherhood brings. While I was not ever depressed, I just was in survival mode, doing the bare essentials to make it each day. I am healed fully from delivery and my emotions are good. Now that I am adjusted (as much as possible) to life with 3 children and know it will be okay, I can relax and enjoy!!

These boy's love their sister!!!! :)

Look at this little girl!!! :)

So precious!!!

How can you not find joy while gazing upon this glorious gift, a precious gift of life that God entrusts us with!!!

"The pain that you have been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming" --Romans 8:18

Life's big moments

Life's big moments happen to everyone and in different forms. For our family they are happening and quickly.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." Helen Keller 

We just had the birth of our first daughter. Lucas is about to graduate in about 3 weeks and he got a job at the career fair. We will be moving this summer to a new city, new house, and he will have a new job.
I have to say its funny how much we can plan for our lives and how much actually happens. I knew I could trust that God was in control and had bigger plans for us, but He truly ceases to amaze me. I can write forever how good God is to us and His enduring love, but for now let me just tell you about this job thing. :)

Entering marriage we knew we would love and sacrifice for one another. Our 1st year was blissful, it was easy no troubles, besides adjusting to one another. Then we had our 1st son and things got bumpy. I struggled to finish my degree, while pregnant with our second son. I had planned on working after I finished, but now knowing how demanding teaching is with two young children made me think twice. All this time my awesome husband went part time to school so I could finish. He also worked part time and watched Lukrik while I student taught.This is sacrificial love at its finest because when we give of ourselves that is when we receive the most. So when people say your finally graduating, he says, "Yes and I also have my wife and 3 children with me." So it may have taken him a "long" time but he is finishing and not with out a lot of hard work, perseverance, and Jesus!!! I have to say I am so proud of him and grateful at the blessing of his love for me and our children. I was truly blessed with the most loving, giving, hard working, kind, and sacrificing man ever!! :) I also want to thank him for being open to our Lord's will in his life, no matter how hard it can be at times.

Now he just went to the career fair a few weeks ago and did a few interviews with 6 different districts in our city/state. One of those out of city offered him a job right on the spot!! :) We had two weeks to respond and it was a difficult decision. We had prayed starting last year that when the time came he would have a job by the time he graduated. Boy, did our Lord answer it!!!! For us even if we have to move out of Las Cruces and navigate another city our main concern was having a job. It will not be easy and the hard work is only just beginning, but we fully trust that the Lord has brought us to this and we can't reject His blessings.

I will leave you with this last thought, if we but merely ask the Lord, He will provide. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
It may take us from our comfort zone and test us. Nonetheless we will be together and have our Lord no matter where life takes us. " What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 31-39 :) <3

1 month postpartum and life with 3 children

Karissa is 1 month old and growing fast!! She now weighs 8 lbs.and 2 oz. and 21" long. We are still getting the hang of nursing. She has had a lazy latch and since her mouth is so small its been hurting me still. I have to admit its been a little rough enjoying nursing her because of the pain. It is not supposed to hurt when you nurse and it is totally enjoyable. I finally got nipple shield to help her latch on better and wow huge difference!! So it is helping and hopefully will get better. I can say even with the challenges it is the best thing for both of us! :) We are grateful she is growing and doing amazing! Plus she is a total cutie!!

I am feeling pretty good and lost 10 lbs. already. Once my 6 weeks pass I will start a little exercising to get  in shape. We are not too sleep deprived, mostly because of nursing and co-sleeping. :) 

Big brother Ezekiel still takes naps during the day which is a huge blessing! I at least can rest a little since Lukrik isn't so destructive anymore, lol. We did have a rare moment in time at the Hibler house the other day...

All 3 kids napping at the same time! :) 

Speaking of 3 kids napping...I prepared myself for total chaos for the first 2 months. It has been total chaos, but also a blessing. I say a blessing because it has made me take in every moment one at a time and truly prayerfully be vigilant to my needs and my families. It has been a little crazy with 3 kids, especially when I nurse Karissa. I have days when it is gets so stressful that all I want to do is cry! Especially when everyone wants mommy at the same time.Its a tough job and with lots of help from the Lord I am managing . I don't freak out about the mess anymore (after kid 2 you know better) because its inevitable but their safety I do. I now know why we have Guardian angels, because as parents we can't protect our children from everything. If you've ever watched the "Croods," everyday we say "still alive!" with our hands in the air, lol!! :)

I have yet to make a good dinner, mostly frozen meals and sandwiches. So thank you to our awesome parent's, compadres and my nina for bringing us a few good meals!! We appreciate it so much!!! :)

It is hard with 3 kids, but its what we wanted and what is not hard at times different times in our lives. We are blessed with our amazing, cute, and loving children that the Lord put in our lives. We can't imagine our lives without them and wouldn't change it for the world!!!! :) <3 

I also finally had a precious moment with Karissa, Lucas took the boys outside and I was able to nurse her in peaceful silence!! 

My little sweet pea...love taking in her beauty!!

Our inner beauty

I have been reflecting on the idea of inner beauty and how as women in our media filled world we can find strength and peace to be set apart for God. When I read Proverbs 31: 30, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised," I think of inner beauty and what it means. For me it is contemplating on the condition of my heart. For example what makes me happy, holy, and at peace with God. If we can put all our faith in God, it is better for our hearts. It is so easy to compare ourselves to one another. Because of how easy it is to see women from all over the world today, it is more difficult to not compare ourselves. But each of us are made in the image of God and we are beautiful. Not necessarily what we see day to day but the condition of our hearts day to day. In 1 Peter 3: 3-4 it says, "Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." The easiest way to focus our hearts on this is to ask God to give us strength and humility to surrender all that we are to Him. To me there is nothing more precious than God being in charge of my life. There is no reason not to give all of ourselves to our Father whom loves us a lot. So I invite you to surrender all your heart to God and have faith that He will see your inner beauty. :) <3

Nuestra belleza interior

He estado contemplando en la belleza interior y como mujeres en el mundo heno de tecnología podemos encontrar fuerza y paz para ser de Dios aparte de las demás. Cuando leo Proverbios 31:30, “Engañosa es la gracia y vana la hermosura, pero la mujer que teme a Jehová esa será alabada,” pienso en la belleza interior y lo que significa. Para mi es contemplando la condición de mi corazón. Por ejemplo que me hace feliz, sagrada, y en paz con Dios. Si podemos poner toda nuestra fe en Dios mejor para nuestros corazones. Es tan fácil compáranos una a la otra. Por ser más fácil de ver a mujeres por todo el mundo hoy en día es más difícil de no comparase a ellas. Pero cada una estamos hechas en la imagen de Dios y somos hermosas. No lo que vemos día a día pero la condición de nuestro corazón día a día. En 1 Pedro 3:3-4 dice, “Vuestro atavió no sea el externo de peinados ostentosos, de adornos de oro o de vestidos lujosos, sino el interno, el del corazón, en el incorruptible adorno de un espíritu afable y apacible, que es de grande estima delante de Dios.” La forma más fácil de enfocar nuestros corazones en esto es de pedir que Dios nos de la fuerza y humildad de rendir todo lo que somos a El. Para mí no hay nada más precioso que El este en cargo de mi vida. No hay razón de no dar todo de nosotros a nuestros Padre que nos ama mucho. Por eso las animo que entreguen todo sus corazones a Dios y tengan fe que El va ver su belleza interior. :) <3

Karissa Kay's Birth Story Part 2

Here is Part 1, if you missed it.
*Disclaimer of bodily fluids to be mentioned, but could not be left out.

As we waited for the results of the amniotic fluid test, I prayed that it was because I knew it was time and did not want to go home again without a baby. Finally the midwife came in with a paper with my info and it said positive at the bottom. So because we were not 100% sure when my water broke, she decided to start an antibiotic to help in case of infections. Since it had at least been from Thursday morning at 1 am that I felt that pop, it had been 24 hours since then. It was 7 pm when we knew we were staying, I was also hoping I would not need pitocin.
My second oldest sister came and brought Lucas some food around 8:30 pm. She left but would be back since we wanted her to be there for the birth. We relaxed and watched T.V. for a few hours, it was nice to sit and talk with each other without interruptions. Then the midwife came in around 10:30 pm to explain they would start pitocin and she would come back to break the front bag of waters. So the nurse came in and started the pitocin at a 4 and would come in every 15 minutes to up the dose. Now began the more intense and difficult part of laboring. I really wish I could have not had pitocin just to see how different it is. When the nurse came to up the dose she would ask if I needed anything. So began the breathing, focusing, and praying. I was doing good, but getting so exhausted. At around 12:30 am the nurse came to check me and I was at a 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced, so it was time to break my bag of waters. Once they did I began to feel her move down. From this time until she was born, the contractions became unbearable and I felt pressure, so the nurse came to check on me again, I was barely at 5 cm!
I told Lucas I couldn't anymore and that I was so exhausted, all while beginning to cry. He is amazing, I love him so much!!! He gently reassured me I could do it, to breathe and try to focus on just that. I got courage for about two contractions and lost my will to keep going. My body was taking longer to dilate than with the boys. Also with them I felt empowered and with Karissa, I was emotionally drained. Then I tried to let each contraction bring her down, with her I could feel her slowly making her way into this world. All of a sudden I had the urge to use the bathroom, like I had to take a big crap!! The  nurse assistant came to let me up and hung around until I was done. It felt good to sit on the toilet! I began to cry and said, "I can't anymore, I am exhausted, I need something to help me rest." I Krystle Hibler was crying for pain relief and asap!!! Lucas calmly said, "It won't help you get energized and its probably almost time." I couldn't argue because just then I had a huge urge to push and I did, no not a baby, just crap. The nurse came in because I had the urge again and she said "Quickly get to the bed!" I began to shake and this happens right before they are born. I knew it was time and just wanted to be done. I was such a hot mess by this time and began to not breathe properly. Once on the bed my arms and legs felt tingly. So they gave me oxygen, oh how amazing it was!! Finally, I calmed down and prayed I could do it! The nurse checked me, no cervix left, baby's head, call midwife this little baby is coming.
Once everything was ready, they said to push on the next contraction. Oh, how much of a daze you are in at this point. I pushed once and took a break. Pushed again and gave up once I felt the burning ring!! I was overly exhausted, so I prayed for the last bit of strength I needed to birth this little (thank God she was little) baby and I could feel the power of the prayers. The final two pushes and she was here at 3:18 am on March 1, 2014. Our little baby girl was here!!!
Lucas was able to catch her and cut her cord, which was delayed a bit as the midwife pushed blood back to her from me. He placed her on my chest and never have I felt such relief to see a gooey, slimy, beautiful little baby. She was absolutely perfect and we both cried!! Lucas even cried, he never cried with the boys, but this tiny girl already has his heart. <3
We got to be together right away, she was breathing well and looked good. She nursed for an hour and a half. Even though premies have trouble latching, she knew exactly what to do! I bled a little but she was able to stop it and stitched me up. Asked for some food because lets face it birthing a baby leaves you famished!
She was 5 lbs. 3 oz. and 17" long. Her Apgar scores were good at 1 min. an 8 and at 5 min. a 9. No disabilities or health problems. Just perfect the way the Lord made her and we are blessed!!!! :) <3

Karissa Kay Hibler

This was before she nursed, see she was already sucking on her hand!! :)

Karissa Kay's Birth Story Part 1

Disclaimer of bodily fluids to be mentioned, but could not be left out. :)
I was not due until March 24, 2014, but it was just time. At my last appointment they noticed I had dropped and she was quite low in my pelvis. Apparently this occurs right before labor begins in subsequent pregnancies, not weeks before. I also note that I lose weight right before as well.. Another truth for me is I get this energy urge to nest and have absolutely everything ready for the arrival of baby. At my appointment on Monday Feb. 24, I was not checked, but told them my braxton hick contractions were stronger now. So the doctor just said see you next week hopefully and told me when to go the hospital.
Now by Wednesday Feb. 26, I really began having contractions. Yes I had been cleaning and such all day, so when Lucas got home I decided to rest, but they kept coming. I took a shower and gave the boys a bath. By the time the boys were in bed I had decided that is was time to go to the hospital. I have a history of having strong contractions and going in only to find they fade out. So my sister came around 11 pm and we got to the hospital by 12 am and checked in. I was checked only to be 1 cm and 50% effaced. They hooked me up and left for 2 hrs, they seemed busy that night. While we sat there, I felt a pop, but no fluid came out, so we assumed it was just her moving. Once they were done they came and checked again still the same. We were sent home and the nurse said she thought we would be back later that day. So off we went to rest. All day Thursday Feb. 27, I had contractions, but not consistent or unbearable. Also lost my mucus plug, but I never noticed any fluid leaking. Once Lucas got home, I told him we  were going to Sam's Club for some last minute stuff we needed and to walk this baby out. Now I know it was early, but she had to be ready or why else would my body start labor. Now with the boys I had a lot of back labor, but with her it was more intense cramping and just back aches. So it helped to go walk and get what we needed. I rested well that night because it was just cramps I felt. I also went to buy raspberry leaf tea and drank two cups that night.
Friday Feb. 28, woke up with mild contractions and cramping. Decided I would go for a walk around the block. The boys and I went to a park across the street and ran around. Came home and the contractions started coming strong again. I began timing them and called Lucas around 1:30 pm to just come home because it was hard to labor alone with the boys around. He came right away and I called my mom to have her call into work. She also had a 2 hour journey to us, so I wanted to be sure she got here soon to be with the boys. We then called our compadres because the contractions were really close together and I could not wait for my mom. They came, we left and arrived at 2:30 pm at the hospital.
Now the dreaded check...only 2 cm and 60% effaced. Check again in an hour, so just wait!! Of course in that time guess what happened my contractions slowed down. She came in checked still 2 cm but 70% effaced. Check with midwife, because my blood platelets had gone down again. Our nurse was busy because there were lots of babies being born again, so another nurse let us walk around. They were coming back and the walking was making them stronger. So we walked around, spoke with the midwife and since my blood platelets were not dangerously low we would see what my body wanted to do. When we got back in the room, the nurse asked if my water had broken because she noticed some fluid on the pad. I said no, so they did the test to check if it was amniotic fluid and check my cervix. Still 2 cm but now 75% effaced, which meant progress was happening. Stay tuned for part 2 to find out if it was amniotic fluid. :)

Birth Announcement

Thank you for all the prayers she has arrived....

Karissa Kay Hibler

March 1, 2014

3:18 am

5 lbs. 3 oz.

17" long

She is beautiful, amazing, and healthy!!!!
Birth story coming soon!!! ;)

Last month of Pregnancy

Had an appointment and ultrasound yesterday. I got to see her again! 

Her nose looks a little squished because she is low in my pelvis.

I can't wait to hold her and kiss her!!

Her head is still on the small side, but because she is so low it is hard to know if its accurate and no longer a concern. She is growing and weighing around 5 lbs. 6 oz. which is close to what I weighed when I was born. So little girl with long legs, just like mommy!! :) So thanks immensely for all the prayers!! God is amazing and continually blessing us with His love and provision! I did have to get more blood work done to check my levels again. Prayers that it will be good and I can deliver without needing a blood transfusion or anything else!

This is my last month pregnant, hopefully. With the boys I never went passed my due date, so hopefully she doesn't either, lol! I already feel her head low and just feel too big. I always stop gaining weight at the end and this week lost a pound, so we will see. I feel ready, we have our bags packed. My parents are on call when its time and being only two hours away is a blessing. I have my sister here luckily, but she does have 3 children of her own and works full time. Our compadre's are the other plan to help with the boys. So we are set, but still can't help be a little nervous. I also have been getting stronger contractions here and there. Yesterday I had them all day and last night my infamous back labor begun. Although at this point its nothing to send me to the hospital, definitely getting them. Practicing my breathing and relaxing through them. I need to remember to breathe!! 

As the time of carrying her inside me comes to an end I can't help but be grateful for the privilege of bearing another little miracle and soon birthing her. Prayers for a healthy and natural delivery because we know laboring is no easy task. I have to say it is sacred to birth another life, even through the pain and hard work it is truly one amazing way to see how splendid God's love is for us. The grace also given is one to remember because He surely provides it! Like I have mentioned in the boys birth stories, I always offer up all my pain and suffering for all the babies that are aborted. It is like if at that moment our offering helps a little toward ending them and we see that glory of His forgiveness in the miracle of a new life being allowed to live!! It helps me get a grip on what to focus on and truly give of myself in such a small way in a challenging time. Plus knowing you get a fragile, beautiful, and precious baby after it all is sooo worth it!!! 

I will leave you with this awesome quote until next time, maybe baby birth announcement. :)

"Each child is sent into this world by God with a unique message to deliver, a new song to sing, and a personal act of love to bestow." --John Powell, S.J. 

Hospital bag

With all my pregnancies I packed my bag well in advance. It helps me be organized so I won't forget anything and to feel ready for baby. I thought just for fun to write a post about it, so here is what is in my bag and diaper bag. :)

Hospital Bag

-Pink and brown polka dot bag (got this for my wedding from my sister-in-laws) 

-Comfy PJ's (pants are loose and soft; shirt is nursing friendly, comfy, and soft; both from Wal-Mart)

-Nursing bras/Accessories (Nursing bra from Target by Gilligan & O'Malley; Sleeping nursing bra from JCPenny's by Duo Maternity; White nursing cami from Motherhood Maternity by Glammourmom Basics)

-Undeies (cotton briefs from Wal-Mart)

-Socks/Slippers (cute fuzzy ones from Wal-Mart)

-Robe (cotton and comfy also a gift)

-Go home outfit (a maternity dress from Target & Maternity pants/loose shirt)

-Toiletreis: toothbrush, toothpaste, Lanolin cream, body wash, deodorant, shaver, face-wash, face-wipes, shampoo & conditioner, disposable nursing pads (cotton ones never work for me, soak too quickly), bag of cotton balls & cotton swabs, overnight extra long pads, hairbrush, and headband. I never worry about make-up :)

-Lucas clothes

-Snacks (chocolate of course, lol, gaterade, my water bottle, and almonds) 

Diaper Bag

-Diaper bag (from Ameribag)

-Take home outfit (long sleeve with cuffs to cover hands, pants with feet from Target by Carter's)

-Mittens (from Ross by Baby essentials)

-Hat (gift) 

-Socks (from Wal-Mart)

-Extra outfit, socks, mittens, and hat

-Diapers (Luvs or Pampers Newborn size, our hospital provides some but just in case)

-Wipes (from Sam's Club by Simply Right)

-Blankets (from Wal-Mart)

-Burp Cloths (from Wal-Mart)

-Breastfeeding Cover (homemade)

-Boppy Pillow (thrift store find)

So that is about it for our bags and we are packed and ready for the big day!! Can't believe its 5 weeks or less away and we get to meet her!!! ;)

  

Grace in childbearing

This a pregnancy update of how God is so good to me and provides grace in childbearing. With this baby I have had a rough pregnancy. From horrible morning sickness in the beginning, now with low blood platelets, and delayed fetal growth. I have been pregnant twice before and not had any complications before. This is a new thing for me to go through and it has been difficult. It could be because the baby is a girl, lol! With the boys I felt amazingly beautiful and glowing the whole pregnancy. With little baby Karissa, I have not. I know that the added hormones have a lot to do with it. I also know I could not be happier to be having a little baby girl!! :)
As I reflect on this pregnancy thus far I can't help but love this verse: "For this child I prayed, and the Lord had granted me my petition which I asked of Him." 1 Samuel 1:27. We have prayed and asked for so many prayers for her. I love that she is already keeping me in check and we have not even met her in person yet. So even if I have yet to feel physically beautiful, my heart sure does because she is allowing me the honor of loving the Lord even more and drawing me to Him in ways I never thought possible.
I know God gives mom's the ability to forget all our suffering, hardship, and labor when bearing children. I am beginning the uncomfortable body stage: when you waddle from the pressure of their head being in position, are out of breath after just small tasks, and aching hips/back/pelvis. Not to mention the whole laboring part, lol. No, really I am weary and ready to have her. The Lord spoke to my heart this past week with these verses to help calm my heart in preparation for her arrival.
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light," Matthew 11:28-30. Because I been to so many ultrasounds, blood being drawn, and just worried I am weary. I am grateful as well for the great medical care I am receiving to get healthy and have a healthy baby. Here is another verse from Isaiah 40:28-31, "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." 
Now with her head down the pressure in my pelvis to prep for birth is ever so noticeable. So now I am done and ready to have her, lol! I just have had so many scares of different complications that it makes it stressful which is truly physically and emotionally exhausting. My blood platelets dropped a bit again, so next month get them checked again before delivery. Also, another ultrasound to check on her growth. It could be worse and better but the Lord is reminding me how to wait, hope, and love.
This verse in Romans 8:18, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Also my reflection for this week is from 2 Corinthians 12:9, "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore more gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." So beautiful because the Lord gives us His grace when we are weak and for mother's when bearing children is a great time to need it, after all we carry a precious gift of life. :) <3

Longer Pregnancy Update

Week 32, 4 days now and boy I definitely feel 7 months pregnant. Can no longer bend over, see my toes, and tums are my nightly snack. I have also officially finished sewing baby stuff.

My hip breastfeeding cover!! 

My cute diaper stacker!! 

I also did some cute burp cloth decorating, with scraps of material I had. 

Everything is washed and put away, except gifts we get here and there. Still have to buy a nursing bra and will pack my bag in a few weeks. Yes, I like to be prepared and organized, mostly so I will not forget anything. Also, cause its fun to pack ahead and know your ready for baby, lol! I might do a post on what I pack, just cause I love looking at other's, so it should be fun. :) 

I have been feeling her move a lot, she is running out of room, so its just jabs and kicks. As of yesterdays ultrasound she is head down and ready for her exit, lol! I have gained 20 lbs. and one doctor said 40 lbs., yeah right not possible for me! I am happy with what I have gained because it is really hard for me to gain weight not being pregnant. I have been feeling braxton hicks contractions already. 

I am getting anxious about when baby will come. My due date is March 24, 2014. Lucas has a test on March 15, 2014 for his competency to get his license to teach. I would lie if I said I am not nervous 

about it, but it should be alright. My parents will be here that weekend for a previous engagement, so at least I will have someone here with me when he is testing. Now with our first I had him at 39 weeks and our second at 37 weeks. So we will see when she decides its time to come! :) 

My doctor's appointment was good, except her head is still measuring small. So now they are concerned, so off to a more in depth ultrasound. I was so nervous, but after discussing everything with the doctor and genetic counselor I am at peace with the results. So her head is just in the 6th percentile of growth, which is low but not bad. She is also 1 deviation under and for Microcephaly it needs to be 2 deviations under. Her brain anatomy and structure look good. So in short they couldn't diagnose her with Microcephaly through an ultrasound. They were a little annoyed that I had refused the amniocentesis tests and other genetic tests. Here is the thing about those tests, to me they are useless because my baby is my baby no matter what a test says. God knows what child He will bless us with, disabilities or not. I can not understand their insistence on knowing everything. I do understand for medical care she may need it would be helpful, but any other reason is just nonsense. So they offered other genetic tests through blood work, but I refused because I felt the Lord tell me in that moment, "It will be alright!" So for now all they said is we won't know for sure until she is born and will just continue to observe her growth. 

I am ever grateful for all the prayers, support, and love from you all!! We thank you with all our hearts and lots of prayers needed always!!! :) <3 

This is a picture of her arms!

This is a picture of her legs!! 

She wouldn't show her face and we got to see hair!!! :)

My 31 week belly!! 

My 32 week, 4 day belly!! :)

Quick pregnancy update

I had another long, more detailed update but since we were out of town this weekend I will just do a short one. We had another ultrasound on Friday to get her head measurements again, but are still behind. We were referred to another ultrasound this week but it is a 3-D, more in depth. Unfortunately it is done in Albuquerque, but luckily we were here this weekend for a family wedding. So the boys and I are staying until Wednesday to go to it. I am not going to lie and say I am not worried now, because I am. I just want everything to okay not too stressful with worries about what is going on. It does not help I am more emotional now and just trying to be prepared for the new baby. I do know God has a big plan no matter what the circumstances are and keep telling myself He is in control no matter what. So lots of prayers please!!!! I need strength because Lucas will not be able to make it to this appointment due to the distance and him student teaching. I need courage to be able to take whatever news we get this day well enough to not be too stressed. Again lots of prayers and I will update you all later!!! :) <3

How to survive with a new baby and toddler

It is only as stressful as you make it. No one expects you to be super mom, after you just gave birth. :) So relax, you have been through it once the second time is not so bad.
Let's talk reality, lol, EVERYONE is sleep deprived! The first 2 months are a little chaotic until you get into a rhythm. The first night home as a family was crazy!! Once your toddler gets used to hearing baby cry and not so new they sleep soundly. Feeding new baby was hard at first as well because the toddler needs attention at the same time baby's hungry. After a few days he began to understand and would cuddle with us. Of course the recovery is still needed, I began to do too much right away because I had a new baby and toddler to care for. So I definitely recommend if possible help with meals!! Hint to family/friends of new parents, taking families meals, even if just one meal, is a HUGE help and blessing!! This time around I am trying to plans meals I can make ahead and freeze for when baby comes. Resting when possible, this one was hard when Lukrik was awake, so take super advantage of napping toddlers. Don't even worry about cleaning or shopping, if your fortunate enough to have a husband like mine, then leave it to him! :)
Once more time passes and baby is a little bigger, I loved my Moby wrap for when baby needed to be carried and I needed to clean, shop, and go for walks (other outings). For spending time with your toddler: I would take advantage of baby's napping times to do simple activities. Coloring, reading, and a movie became favorites. Like I said the first 2 months are chaotic and eventually everyone gets accustomed to the change. So enjoy this time as best you can, children grow fast and soon you can say the chaos is blissful. Another big tip, which is my best is just pray  all day for strength, love, and patience!! :) <3

How to prepare your toddler for a baby's arrival

I keep seeing these lists or suggestions on Pinterest and thought I would make one with how we prepped Lukrik and now are prepping Ezekiel. So here is my best advice from experience:
1. When we first found out we were pregnant with our second we instantly told our oldest he would be a big brother. He was 13 months old, about the time we found out. It may seem useless, but children understand more than we believe they do.
2. We bought a book by Mercer Mayer, "Just Me and My Little Brother," once we new it was a boy. We read it every night until Zeke was born, Lukrik loved it!
3. We took him along to the ultrasound to see his baby. He was a little over whelmed, but over all excited.
4. We talked a lot about how babies are little at first and need lots of care and love. So we bought a little baby doll, yes even for boys! Demonstrating how to hold them and touching them with "gentle" hands.
5. Get them a special outfit for the day baby is coming home and make a big deal about the new gift just for them!!
6. Talk about who will be with them when you go to the hospital and that you will be gone. If they can be watched at their own home its best, but if not make sure they are comfortable where ever they will be.
Once baby is born, here is what we did:
1. If it is allowed for them to come visit at the hospital it is good. Having them see you are still around and meet the new baby. Lukrik would not touch Ezekiel at the hospital. After we got released we immediately picked up Lukrik and he was excited by the little baby.
2. We let him touch baby, but used the word gentle hands and demonstrated how to touch his brother. Never forbid them from touching, kissing, or holding the baby. Of course all with supervision, because lets face it children are curious. Plus, they have a genuine love for others if nurtured and allowed to grow!! :)

Abuse is not love...Part 3

*This post is very personal, and serious. I hope it is informative on how healthy relationships should be and how to seek help. Here are some websites to check out: www.loveisnotabuse.com, www.breakthecycle.org, and  www.joyfulhearfoundation.org. *

Here is part 1 and part 2, to catch up and not be lost. :)

He said he was outside my house and just needed to talk for just a bit. I told him I did not want to leave just talk and go to bed. I went out in my pj's, sweat shirt, and slippers. I told my parents, I was just going outside to see what he wanted real quick. They said okay, but not to take too long. I went to his car just to talk to him through the window and he said, just to get in since it was cold. I said, just to make it quick, I was already in bed. He said it would be, so I got in and he just took off!! I told him to go back and he said not until I listened to him! We drove around and he just yelled horrible things to me. I sat in silence, just cried, and prayed that I could escape this torture. At one point his dad called and he told him he was alone. We were heading to an old highway toward Texas. He was so angry and his words finally hit hard, I yelled back at him! He grabbed me by my sweat shirt and shook me up out of my seat. This was all while driving still!! That was it I curled up so tense and grabbed my knees. I sobbed and prayed that some how I could not be there at that moment, that somehow it was just a nightmare. We were near a school and I told him to take me home. He refused and held the door locked down. I had planned on running towards the building of the school as we approached a stop light and calling 911. He would not let go of the lock and I was weak from fear, so just sobbed resigned that he would never let me go. 
As we finally turned heading south, it happened there was a road block coming up and if he turned around he would draw attention. I just knew the Lord sent it to help rescue me in that needy time. So as we approached he said to stop crying, sit up,and act normal! Haha, act normal this is my only way to get away from this fool!! Sure enough he brought attention to himself without me having to be obvious. His windshield was shattered, which was the first warning. I remember there were 3 sheriffs and one was a lady officer who came to my side, tried to open the door and asked me to step out. I didn't hesitate and looked back at him with my eyes saying goodbye. I was taken aside and asked why I was in slippers. I began to tell her what happened in the car, I couldn't help but start crying again and shake from the shock. The other officer had "the guy" pull to the other side and get out to be questioned. Then they had another officer come in a car to keep me warm, while asking more questions. He asked what happened, if I lived with him, and if he hurt me. I explained from the beginning of the night and had to demonstrate how he grabbed me. I then said he didn't let me get out when I told him and how he locked the door. He said that is false imprisonment and I would not be going home with him. He then went out to talk to the other officers and returned with a package. It was information on domestic violence and where to seek support. It opened my eyes to the past year of abuse I had been living. I was still sobbing and trying to take it all in. The awesome officer said another officer would escort me home and explained the steps I should take to stay safe. I was amazed at how much officers know about characteristics of abuse, how comforting a strangers care could feel, and how helpful they all were. They were definitely my angels that night!! So I commend all law enforcement officers for their service and care to our community. 
I was taken home, tried calling ahead to alert my parents and warn them that a sheriff would bring me home. But no one answered, my dad was picking up my sister's from a winter ball dance and my mom was sleeping. I finally got home and just minutes later a call came from an advocate for abuse, its routine for situations like this. They informed me how to get a restraining order, what to do if he came over, and that they would send an officer if he was released. My mom came out once she heard me and I couldn't talk while on the phone. Once I got off I just sobbed and ran to her arms! Just then my dad and sister's got home, all frightened and asking questions. All my family showed support and love at this difficult time. I also received tons of support from close friends I still managed to have and I am forever grateful for them!!! 
It didn't end here he was released that same night on bail and continued to try to convince other people to call me for him. I resisted and kept moving forward, it was very difficult, but I just couldn't go back. He also stalked friends at their work places and my boss at the time. These actions led to my decision to go through with the restraining order, in order to protect myself. For months I suffered from tension, paranoia and fear of the unknown.
God is good, He truly helped me heal, have courage, find forgiveness, and trust others again. It was not an easy journey and it was difficult writing this last part because of the hurtful memories, but I would not change it. Mostly because I was able to see how much I do mean to our Lord and that in His timing He does have someone who can truly love you without the abuse. I will never forget all He taught me through this experience. I hope that you too can learn from it help others or yourself and know that abuse is not love. <3 

Pregnancy update

Just had a doctor's appointment early this morning. Have to get another ultrasound in two weeks to recheck her head size. Although the doctor did say it could be the machines, so they re-calibrated it, so we will see soon. My blood will also be checked, too! Every little change/complication with this pregnancy is super humbling. I really thought it would be chill and no complications, but it really has been my hardest. Emotionally at the beginning I was a hot mess, now I am more calm because the Lord has really showed me how to trust that He is in control no matter what and gives me peace. I am very excited to see how different a girl truly is in raising. :)
I am feeling really cramped, she keeps settling her foot in my ribs. I seriously forgot how uncomfortable you get in the end, especially since I am small to begin with. I feel like my stomach can't stretch anymore, lol! I know it will because our bodies are amazing. Karissa is of course moving like crazy, she especially likes to hear Daddy's voice and show off just for him. It is amazing and such a blessing to have the honor to carry a little baby. I am so grateful for another little baby and excited to meet her. :)
I am already nesting and getting everything ready, only 10 more weeks, yikes!! I need some more ideas on meals I can freeze to have for when baby comes, so any suggestions would be great! :)

My 29 weeks, 5 day belly!!

Side view, yes my belly button popped out since week 20! 

Here is a skin one, lol!! 

Year in Overview

Wow, time flies when your having fun!! 2013 is gone and what a year it has been for our family. We have been busy with life and will be busier this year. With lots of exciting changes for our family...a new baby, Lucas student teaching and graduating. It is sure to go all too quick again. So here is hoping and praying I keep my sanity! :)

Easter 2013

Welcoming my first Goddaughter!

Summer fun!

Ezekiel Simon turns 1 yr. old!!

Trip to the zoo for first time!

Happy 4th of July!!

Baby #3!!! 

Anne's Baptism!!

Lukrik Amadeus turns 3 yrs. old!!

Pumpkin carving!!

 

First Halloween trick or treating!!

Baby #3 profile!

Snowman making!!

Happy Thanksgiving 2013!!

Welcoming Anastasia Marie, my second niece!!

Merry Christmas 2013!!