I am gaining weight finally, no more morning sickness!! I am healthy and have a growing bulge, lol!! Baby is looking good, except her head is measuring a little small. We usually have 3D ultrasounds done because of my sister with microcephaly. They did not refer us this time because there is only one in town and they have stopped sending patients there. So our option was to drive 4 hours away to one, but we declined. We never do the amniocentesis tests and could do without the 3D ultrasound, but now I want the 3D ultrasound just so give me peace of mind and heart that she might just have a smaller head compared to her big headed brothers! I am truthfully not fearful of a child with microcephaly, just worried about being able to provide a fulfilling and healthy life for our little baby girl. Plus, knowing already how much energy it takes to raise a child with special needs, I think what if we can't!! My parents have done an excellent job to the best of their abilities to raise my sister, so I know we would have lots of support!! Its just the unknown things such as if she does have it how severe and how developed is her brain, etc. So many prayers for us as we wait for news and trust that God has a huge amazing plan for our family no matter the circumstances!!! :)
I was able to get encouragement from my amazing mother in law and she told me about Saint Gianna Beretta Molla, to read about her life check out this website, www.saintgianna.org. It was good to read her prayer and reflections because lets be honest what expecting mother does not worry and freak a little about their unborn child. So here are a few of her reflections: "Whatever God wants." "When one does one's own duty, one must not be concerned, because God's help will not be lacking." "One cannot love without suffering or suffer without loving." These little reflections really spoke to my heart and really humbled me. Then her prayer spoke even more to me:
"Jesus, I promise You to submit myself to all that You permit befall me, make me only know Your will. My most sweet Jesus, infinitely merciful God, most tender Father of souls, and in a particular way of the most weak, most miserable, most infirm which You carry with special tenderness between Your divine arms, I come to You to ask You, through the love and merits of Your Sacred Heart, the grace to comprehend and to do always Your holy will, the grace to confide in You, the grace to rest securely through time and eternity in Your loving divine arms."
No matter how much older I get God continually has lessons for my heart and I cannot forget to surrender it so He can work them through and grow me into that woman of prudent integrity I always ask to become daily. Just had to share this because at some point in our lives we forget how God calls us to surrender to Him and courageously ask for His will in everything. Even if it may not make sense at the time there is always a bigger plan He has in store for us, we simply have to trust Him and know that someday it will make complete sense.
Now to continue with the pregnancy update, feeling movement since 14 weeks and now, it is fun to feel more and more because it reminds me that yes I am pregnant with our 3rd baby. Worries about going through labor, only that for some reason I won't be able to go naturally medicine free. I guess I feel this way because this pregnancy has been my hardest so far and it may be my hardest delivery. I do know, I am praying I will not have to be induced for any reason and that this time we actually get to our due date, lol. Being I am due on spring break and my husband will be student teaching, I hope for sanity's sake we can hold out until then!! We will see when this baby is ready and makes an appearance.How will I mange once there are three munchkins?! I don't know, lol!!! Any suggestions? No, truthfully as everyone says children change your life, even after two children the dynamics changed, so guess what they will change again. All I know is lots of prayer, love, support, and strength is what I need. To be honest after Ezekiel was born it was only chaotic for the first two months, lol, then it became blissful. So my children bring me blissful chaos and I love every minute of it!!! I do know poor baby must already wonder how many little people are out there?! Lol, from all the noise, bumps, and pressure she must feel at times. So that is it for now!! :) <3
Oh here is my belly at 19 weeks 4 days
Isn't my little pumpkin cute?!!!
Happy Halloween!!
