*This post is very personal, and serious. I hope it is informative on how healthy relationships should be and how to seek help. Here are some websites to check out: www.loveisnotabuse.com, www.breakthecycle.org, and www.joyfulhearfoundation.org. *
If you missed Part 1 click here!
Now things progressed we got to know each other. I could see good traits, but the bad traits stood out over the good. He seemed easily jealous, quick tempered, and skeptical about everyone's intentions. After about 4 months a good friend pointed out that these things were signs of abusiveness and suggested I take it slow maybe a break. So I heeded her advice and he was okay with it at first. Sort of he kept trying to prove that he could seem less jealous, which was the only reason I gave him for needing a break. He also still called, came over unexpectedly, and tried to invite me places. I should have seen how obsessive and unhealthy this was. By the summer we were dating again and this is when everything just got worse. He always blamed me when he would get angry. He belittled me very often and had a tight rope on my activities. He began to isolate me, but thankfully I still lived with my parents and we had a pretty open relationship. This helped a ton later when things got pretty bad.
I think because he had so many issues with his father and just very unstable emotionally this caused me to feel bad for him. I remember suggesting he speak with a counselor, but he refused. So I surrendered and thought maybe I was supposed to help him. Even if it meant suffering abuse, that I was pretending was not there.
Then the physical abuse began, I remember the first time he slapped me on the face. I was trying to beg to go to a movie with my cousin. He was skeptical and obsessive, got an idea I was going to see some guy or something dumb.I still remember the shame and humiliation I felt deep inside, but I just began to push it aside and ignore it. Just thinking and praying that I could make it through every hurtful word and physical torture. After this one occurrence it happened more and more. I was finally getting very tired of the horrible treatment around November near my birthday. It was a big outburst about some new issue I caused of being disrespectful to him. He was so angry that time that he punched his front windshield and broke it, all while driving!!!
I began to talk with my mom more after this had happened, I didn't say exactly what happened just that I needed to get away. All without him knowing where I went or when, so he could not find me. Trust me this plan was difficult to even think of let alone say out loud, since time after time he had threatened me about leaving him. Something needed to give, I was so miserable, felt hopeless, and fearful of him.
Once December came around, I could not take it anymore. I began to try and distance myself from him, also known as lying to him whenever he called. He became weary or should I say angry. One weekend, December 10th to be exact, I manged to avoid him all but one day. He had insistently called my phone, which I ignored. Then he persisted by calling me at home, the first time my dad answered, he told "the guy" I was sleeping already and hung up. He called again and my mom answered and she came in my room, gave me the phone and left. I answered and he was angry...yes I am going to leave you in suspense for a bit, Part 3 coming soon!!
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