Pregnancy update plus name reveal

This pregnancy has been completely different. Everyone knows my pregnancy with Michael was by far my worst. From horrible nausea and vomiting to laboring since 26 weeks. So going into this pregnancy I expected the same thing to happen and yes still wanted another baby, they are worth it. I know every pregnancy is different but they have gotten worse the more I have. Not true for this little baby.
Let us back up a bit for a better picture. We kept saying after Michael we were probably done having children. Last November a cousin had a little baby girl whom was not well, won't give details due to sensitivity and respecting family. Anyways, we were open to the idea of possibly adopting her and were praying diligently for her health. Things didn't work out for us, but she is well and thriving. Well this brought out in my heart a longing for another baby. When I say longing and it is hard to say out loud. But would I pray constantly and cry for another baby. I feel it  was because I see how precious life is and it so beautiful we have the free will to choose to be open to it. So whether you think, wow they are crazy! Well we are crazy, crazy in love with each other and our Lord. We trust that He will provide if we trust Him and seek Him always!

We tried for a few cycles and I know others try for years to get pregnant. We are blessed with super fertility and it was hard emotionally for me to not be pregnant after the first cycle trying. I was pretty discouraged, but prayed and offered it up for others suffering from infertility. When we finally got the positive result on the test, I was shocked and couldn't believe it. I took more than one test for a few days just to be sure. As weeks went by and I was not feeling any nausea, I started to get anxious. I had my midwife order a dating ultrasound just to see for sure there was a baby in there. There on that screen we saw the little baby wiggling and a strong heart beat! Such a relief to see and with a grateful heart I found some peace. Here we are at 18 weeks (5 months) and I feel pretty great! I have energy again, which in the first trimester was really my only symptom, pure exhaustion. I also was having some asthma issues, which were leaving me breathless after just putting laundry away. After getting on an oral steroid my asthma is under control, thankfully. We got to keep an eye on blood platelets again. I am now having an increase in appetite and my belly finally popped. We didn't get to hear the heart beat at my 12 week appointment. This appointment we couldn't hear it right away and she finally found it low, but it sounded so far away. She thinks that my placenta might be in front. Which would explain not feeling movement yet. So we shall see at the anatomy scan where little baby is. I am so blessed to have a pregnancy like this and it feels too good to be true. I will take it though and just enjoy it! 

We had our anatomy scan this past week. So baby is a boy!! He was a wiggly little baby. It turns out my placenta is in the back. I guess I  just have more space so movement is hard to feel still. He was measuring a few days ahead, so he is growing well. Everything looked great and my cervix is looking normal. I do have to go every two weeks to get it checked for shortening until 24 weeks. I will probably start the progesterone cream again and have already began taking magnesium supplements. Overall, just taking steps to prevent early contracting. Although, I don't think I have total control at least I already know how to get through it. Prayers would be appreciated for no irritable uterus nonsense. It is so draining emotionally and physically. I feel it might be different this pregnancy but we shall see. Here is the video reveal of the kids reactions! Everyone was hoping for a baby girl, they are overall excited. We told them to pray before we decided to try for a baby. It was a good lesson for them to see even when we pray for what we want God gives us exactly what we need. 

Here is the name we chose for this baby boy. It was hard and we actually voted between two names and this one won. We always chose a name before we find out because once we know it is nice to call them by name. We are excited and so blessed to have so many healthy children! 

Here is his coming home outfit and a special onesie in honor of his awesome Grama's/Abuelita's!

Guess what?!!!!!

   We are pregnant again...little duck number 5 heading our way next April!

Super exciting and yes we are crazy, crazy in love that is!!!

No, really we just couldn't help it and had to have another. It is such a blessing to be fertile and open to life. Ever since last year when we were praying about a baby that needed care and we could possibly adopt her. Our hearts knew there was room for one more and the love just multiplies with each child. So here we are announcing our 5th child's presence in my womb. 

Karissa really is praying for a baby sister. She seriously asked everyday and talked about wearing matching outfits. So say a prayer for her to get her sister because I don't know if her heart can take the disappointment. Or pray for her to be happy with another brother if that is what we get. 

Any prayers you could spare for us to be healthy would be great! I feel pretty good right now and I hope it continues, but ask me next week how I am feeling. Yes, last pregnancy was rough and we have prayed about getting pregnant again for a while. We just trust that our Lord knows how much my body can handle and that He will give me strength to carry another little life. :) <3 

Gentle Woman

As May is the month we honor our Blessed Mother, I had it on my heart to finish this post from a while back. I actually only had two sentences down and they had to do with the new year. So I erased them and decided to start it again.
I have always loved sharing my experiences and even more in hopes that someone would find them inspiring. I do not mean inspiring of what I accomplish but of what God accomplishes through me. I have always had a passion for sharing all God does in my life. It is to show that no matter how much we lack, He is there to give us all we need. How this relationship has formed and changed over the years is quite amazing. I never cease to be amazed at how God loves each of us and how we can reciprocate that love with our lives being lived for Him alone. I have always thought of our Blessed Mother as being a beautiful example of living for Him. She was so loved by God that He chose her to carry and bear our Savior. I also love that she gives us women an example of a gentle woman that trusts our Lord with all her heart. She especially demonstrates that gentleness by raising Jesus and doing it at such a young age. Of course we can look at other women in the Bible and Saints that provide a selfless example of love for our Lord. I have always prayed to be a women of prudence and integrity. Often we forget what we pray for ourselves and what the Lord truly wants for us. We get selfish, prideful, and bitter. We look to the world for a definition of how our Lord made us. We want to be strong, independent, and powerful. Not to long ago I shared this picture on Instagram with this caption...

"Karissa wants to be like mommy and journal in her Bible, too. In a time when us women are so pressured to be strong, independent, and powerful. I feel we forget that God made us in His image, as women we identify with God in the spiritual sense. So my hope is for my daughter to find her strength in Christ, to be dependent on God, and know how much power can come from prayer." 

This is truly what I pray and hope to demonstrate to her for how a woman of God should be not one of this world. 

Here is a prayer I wrote based on the fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-25...

Lord, let me put on the fruits of the spirit: love, everyone that surrounds me and those far from me. Joy be with me in all my thoughts and actions. Peace of mind and heart. Long-suffering in all trials and temptations. Kindness to all I encounter this day. Goodness be filled within me and poured out to others. Faithfulness to You and others. Gentleness may it be my first action to others. Self-control in my mind, heart, an body. Christ help me to crucify the passions and desires of my flesh. Let me walk in Your spirit as well as live in it. Amen.  

I wrote it one day reflecting on what the fruits of the spirit were asking of us. As a mother of four children is so hard to always be patient and gentle. We are after all human and fall short daily. I am striving to be that woman of prudence and integrity to be gentle with my family. I know that the Lord desires for us to live out our lives as women with a selfless love for others and to always trust in Him to show us how. 

Parenting troubles

I am finally sitting down to blog about our parenting troubles with our second oldest. It has been something that has always been on going with him. Since he was about 3 years old is when I noticed the little differences in him. I never thought something was "wrong" with him, but always thought what the heck is wrong with me?! The best way to describe him is as intense and affectionate. Now each child is uniquely different and not everything works for each child. Parenting him was exhausting and bewildering.
We did have a big move from southern New Mexico to northern, after his 2nd birthday. Had also just had a new baby and were surrounded by family but not super familiar to him at that time. Now in retrospect it is a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone a young child. With his 6th birthday fast approaching and kinder on the horizon I was more worried about his emotional state. I became really worried when last August we observed some aggressive behavior, uncontrollable crying and tantrums. For a 5 yr. old it seemed too out of character. Now at this point we had another new baby, after an incredibly difficult pregnancy. So things were stressful and we where about to move to a new house again. Most days we would both be crying and exhausted. I was on a daily basis dealing with defiance, meltdowns over clothing texture, withdrawn and aggressive behavior. He also really dislikes crowded places, which made it hard with big brother in school and activities.
I finally took him into our pediatrician to discuss evaluations and check ups. We decided it could be sensory processing issues, so we were referred to a psychologist. He also had been diagnosed with a slight astigmatism back in July 2017 and is still wearing glasses. I was feeling so overwhelmed with the idea of sending him to school and dealing with all that. I needed help and guidance because I was slowly losing my mind. By October we were getting started with evaluations and such. Let me just say discussing how it went is whole other blog post because having a big family is frowned upon in the secular world, especially psychology. We had all the evaluations done by November and had an official diagnosis. The diagnosis we got is not one I even expected and had done no research on. It did help to understand what is going on in his mind and better understand his behaviors. It also helped us not feel like we were parenting horribly.
He received a diagnosis of gifted with anxiety. At the time of receiving it ,we really didn't understand except the anxiety part what it meant. I am barely beginning to research and read about it. I focused on the anxiety part, I guess to help him overcome anxieties little by little. He has been going to play therapy since October 2017 and it is going great. We can definitely see a difference in his whole being, really. He engages more and would you know there are not a million meltdowns a day.
I was taking it month by month to decide if we would home-school all the kids. Part of my own mother anxiety was to send him in August to a big school with new adults, a huge amount of children, and lots of activity and transitions. I knew we had to decide based on what is best for him and our school here is great. There just is not enough budget to allow smaller classroom sizes and more one on one. As an educator I am a critic for it, especially as a mother and knowing how each child really does need very different things from one to another. Every month I would ask him if he was ready and excited about school, he would answer no not yet. I didn't feel like his growth to be ready was coming fast enough. After so much prayer and discussions we decided to home-school. We have always discussed and prayed about the idea of home-schooling once our oldest was school aged. Our oldest was in public school until February of this year. I just finally said, lets do it! I am at peace with this decision, now I don't have the looming August is when he would go to school anxiety. I feel like he is at ease too and learning so much now!
That is an update on some of why we are home-schooling and some why to lack of updates on his particular learning. He is just a different child and he is extraordinary!!!

Here he is lining up all their Shining Light Dolls along with their prayer booklets. 

Breastfeeding my babies

Here is a quote I found on Pinterest that I liked,"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm just telling you it will be worth it."
I never really had an opinion about breastfeeding before I had children. I just had not thought about it, but figured I would formula feed my babies. Then when we got married and knew we wanted children, I began to think about it. So I researched what would be best for baby and I. To be honest my first interest in breastfeeding was because of how expensive formula was. I talked to people that were breastfed and/or breastfeeding their children. Which taught me that it had benefits for both baby and mommy. My mom did not breastfeed us because no one ever really told her about it and those that did said formula was better. So I believe in educating yourself about it. Also for others to share their experiences helps, too! Anyone that knows me well knows I love sharing my experiences good or bad. It helps me feel better by sharing most of my experiences good or bad. Every child I breastfed has been so different, but it was nice knowing what to expect and how to seek help. I love the connection we feel when nursing them it is like nothing else I have ever lived.
I have breastfeed all four my children and still breastfeeding baby Michael. I never would have known how awesome breastfeeding was unless I really tried. Not all my experiences have been the same. With our oldest I had to pump at first because he was on oxygen and feeding tube due to the meconium aspiration. I was not able to nurse him for the first 3 days after his birth. Our second nursed well from the start and still our best eater to date. Our sweet little girl was born at 36 weeks and had the tiniest mouth. She had a hard time latching on correctly and a nipple shield finally did wonders. I nursed her the longest, up until her second birthday. Our youngest and current baby boy has definitely been my hardest. He had a weird latch from the beginning which we figured out was a lip tie. Then after that first month he was colicky and was finally diagnosed with reflux. It was so miserable to not be able to comfort and soothe a newborn by breastfeeding. With all the right care medically and going dairy free, we are still breastfeeding strong and he is almost 11 months. I don't really know if he will nurse past a year we shall see. So that is all my breastfeeding experience in short summaries.
So if you don't know if you can breastfeed your baby. My advice is research, research, and find support. You do not know if it will work until you try, our bodies are pretty amazing to say the least and I believe you can do anything you try!

My dad gave me this awesome shirt!

Some anti-slip socks for wearing after having baby Michael!

Michael in his booby beanie for World Breastfeeding Week!