Abuse is not love...Part 1

*This post is very personal, and serious. I hope it is informative on how healthy relationships should be and how to seek help. Here are some websites to check out: www.loveisnotabuse.com, www.breakthecycle.org, and  www.joyfulhearfoundation.org. *

First, I looked up the definition to the words abuse and love. Abuse- to use wrongly or improperly; misuse. To treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way. To speak insultingly, harshly, and in-justly to or about; revile; malign. To commit sexual assault upon. To deceive or mislead. Love- strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. Warm attachment, enthusiasm, devotion, or admiration. Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. 
Two very different meanings and while you could feel love, abuse should not be the way it is ever expressed. I was thinking that some people, those close to me know what I experienced, but most do not know to what extent. At first I thought it wouldn't be difficult to write about it, but it has been. I think in part because I can't believe I let this person in my life and gave so much power to one person. I have healed a lot through the years, mostly in the first year after it happened because I allowed the Lord to do the healing and amazing things have happened in my life!! I also was encouraged to write about it because many young people are in abusive relationships and need guidance for what a healthy relationship should be. There are different resources out there to help bring awareness and help for those suffering from abuse.
To start I will begin with the fact that I was young, hopeful, and naive. I was 19 years old, had just graduated high school a year before and searching for my life calling. Isn't every 19 year old in search of a career choice, love, and fun?! I had decided to attend these Bible study classes at an extension Bible College Campus at the Christian non-denominational church I was attending at the time. I also met a guy in one of these classes, that had recently began to attend church there. At this time I was very passionate and zealous for sharing the good news of Christ with any willing ear, hence the openness I had towards people. Back to "the guy" he was an acquaintance with friends I had known for many years. This is were it began...
I got a call from some "guy" from church, I had never given him my number or anything. He asked the friend we both knew for my number and her seeing no harm she obliged. He asked questions about our class we had together. From then on began an awkward relationship that would be my most difficult. To be honest I was not attracted to him for any particular characteristic. I just thought let's date a bit and see how it goes, since your Christian and I am too.

Part 2 coming soon!!