Here is why and how we choose life in our marriage. The Lord gave us life and the love we have produces life. Our calling as husband and wife is to love one another as Christ loves us. Here is a great quote from Christopher West, "Marriage is all or nothing. Sex as an expression of marriage commitment is also all or nothing. Love is not arbitrary. Love is not whatever we want it to be. Love is not merely an intense feeling or the sharing of pleasure. Love is to live according to the image in which we're made. Love is to give ourselves away freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully in imitation of Christ."
We have a mutual understanding in our marriage of how we give to one another without selfishness or reserves. It is not always easy but we always seek the Lord to help in our failings. We have never used contraceptives, barrier methods, or sterilization. In my first blog-post I explain how love between man and woman is is life giving. We still use NFP Creighton Model Method. I can't say enough how empowering understanding your fertility is. No matter how your cycles are or what you have time for (time is essential I know, 3 kids remember, lol!) It is not invasive or harmful in anyway, it is also not just charting but the method of observations are highly medically studied. Truth be told contraceptives are just horrible, they do not do your body good. Barrier methods are not good either because you are fearful and holding back from one another. Sterilization is giving up your fertility and not being open to life. We must not let our fears of having children lead us to drastic decisions about our bodies.
Remember the quote I used, "Marriage is all or nothing." We give it all to our spouse and they give back to us. If you don't give it your all then it won't work. Now the quote, "Sex, as an expression of marriage commitment, is also all or nothing." With that expression we also give all of ourselves out of love. It is not natural to hold back this part of your marriage, God wants to bless it and use it to be fruitful. Why would you want to repress your fertility? It is so amazing to be open to life and knowing that you can chose to achieve it is a blessing. NFP gives you this blessing, we have known exactly when we conceived because we were charting. By being able to choose to achieve, you can plan for the time they will be born, more or less. It really is a blessing to communicate together when to achieve or avoid a pregnancy. After all, being open to life is a choice and a calling.
For me being open to life is an important calling in my marriage. Sure being pleased intimately is important, but when you approach it humbly and lovingly, I promise you find glorious pleasure and satisfaction. Why, you ask? Here is the secret without reservations by accepting your fertility and being open to the gift of life when two become one, glorious satisfaction!! A good marriage is not about having sex all the time, it is choosing to love one another respectfully, selflessly, and openly. Christ calls us to union with our husbands in a surrendering way, but not as a slave. He also calls husbands to surrender to their wives. It is a union of two becoming one in Him. Like anything in our lives, it must be surrendered to Christ or it cannot function to its full potential.
Now being open to life does not necessarily mean having a ton of kids. It means you pray to ask what is best for your family, not selfishly. For us right now financially 3 kids is enough. We are still asked constantly if we are having more and we say we may be done. I leave it open because we may want to have more children later or adopt. We like having the free will to choose to have another baby if the Lord wills it. We also have always thought of adopting. The possibilities are endless and we trust the Lord will let us know how our family will grow. Afterall children are the future, they are our future it's a legacy of loving, serving, and giving that God blesses us with.
I really can't express how richly the Lord is blessing me as a woman, wife, mother, and daughter because of how I choose to serve Him, as faithfully as I can. His love for me is endless and the only way to give back to Him is to surrender every part of my mind, heart, body, and soul. :) <3
Miracle
We begin as a miracle and slowly forget that we still are. -- Corrine De Winter
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