Miscarriage

 This is to share what I have found supportive and helpful during this time. I don't think we are aware of what comments or words of encouragement will help or not. You can't really know what to say when someone shares their heartbreak with you. So the best thing is just to say you are sorry and you will pray for them. Here are a few things people said or did that really felt encouraging: 

    -Sorry for your loss

    -We are praying for you

    -Share their story of loss as well

    -Hugged and cried with me

    -You are going to be okay 

    -You are great parents

    -It is not your fault

    -We love you all

    -You will be okay

    -Our Lord will give you strength

    -Jesus is here with you

    -Our Blessed Mother has you in her mantle

    -What do you need? 

    -Gifts of food 

    -Gifts of comforting goodies for me

    -Gifts of plants/flowers

    -Cards of sympathy

The prayers and gifts of food were probably the best things for us that week. I wasn't even in a mode to think of what to feed the kids. I didn't think I would be okay. I thought this heartbreak was too much for me. I was so ecstatic with joy and gratitude for a new little life. I had been doing a novena to Our Lady of La Leche to conceive a little baby.  

Novena Prayer (Alternate 1)

Lovely Lady of La Leche, most loving Mother of our Savior Jesus Christ, and my mother, please listen to my humble prayer. Your heart knows my every wish, my every need. I trust, dear Mother, that you will shelter me beneath your protecting mantle, as you did your Son.

Intercede before him, I pray, that I may have the courage and strength to overcome whatever difficulties may surround me. Give me the grace to be faithful to you always, and may you be my shining inspiration now and forever. If it be according to the Divine Will, please obtain for me by your intercession the following favor (mention your request here).

V. O Mary, conceived without sin.

R. Pray for us who have recourse to you.   

Our Lady of La Leche, pray for us. 

It is such a beautiful novena, Our Lady of La Leche is such a powerful interceder for mommas and women. I know she took our prayers to Jesus, and he answered them. We needed a Saint interceding for all of us, already with Jesus. 

This link helped me think of ideas to get things to remember our baby. ways-to-remember-your-child

 I found that Baby's Breath also represents purity, innocence, and everlasting love! So this remembrance necklace I found beautiful. 

 

We also bought a little plaque for his burial place. I wanted to be able to know where he was, plus the one I chose was perfect!   

 

There are a few books that I love for children. They are to help children understand and deal with grief. 

We also added to our wall for baby pictures a special collage of baby. 

As I continue to heal and recover from this loss, I find some days are super hard emotionally. I still feel raw and empty. I really have to be proactive with my mental state. I found this link, quotes-on-suffering helpful and comforting! I have been journaling a lot lately to help me just note things and keep them all in one place. I had to admit to myself the fears I have of future pregnancies. I do not feel ready by any means to try to conceive again. I had my first cycle since the miscarriage, and it was so hard. I felt this sadness creep in like an enemy. I knew I had to go to Jesus in the tabernacle, surrender all my hurt and guilt. I had to go to daily Mass one evening and went with my mom-in-law. It was nice to go together and pray with one another. She reminded me that we are still open to life even in this heartache. Also, to be patient with myself since I have been through a lot. 

My birthday is a month away, and I feel more at peace with turning 40. I was not looking forward to it coming. I always had this idea in my mind that I had to have all my children by 40 and be ready to move on. Our fertility is not set in a timeline we make; God works in his timing. The healing I need is to be in a place where my heart is free to dream, ask for another miracle, or be at peace with the blessings we have. I feel like that is part of my guilt, the times I may not have been so open to a new life. Or thought it was too hard to have more babies now as I get older. Being someone who struggles with hard pregnancies and postpartum, we had valid reasons to be avoiding pregnancy for three years. Of course, if we ended up pregnant, it would have been great. We love our babies, and the privilege of being parents is such an honor! We will be okay, and with faith can heal from this heartache. 

So please continue to pray for us! This is all a new cross for us to bear in our marriage. One that has not been easy, and we can see how the enemy can sneak in and cause destruction. We must remain ever vigilant and armed with the word of God. Father shared a verse today in Mass that is so powerful to keep in your heart. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear..." 1 John 4:18

Baby Joseph Louis Daniel's Story

 I thought it would be helpful for my grieving heart to write a bit about what we went through with our miscarriage. With that said, if you have been through a miscarriage, this could possibly trigger you. It is okay if you don't want to read my post, I pray you find comfort and strength.  

We had been trying to conceive for a few months and finally got a positive pregnancy test on August 19, 2025. I had been testing with some early detection tests from Amazon. They are line ones, two for positive, and one for negative. I would test every day for 5 days. We were very excited to be expecting our 7th baby! We told the kids right away. I surprised them with a set of baby onesies that came with 3. They were really excited, too! We always share with family right away because they can pray for us. Our families were really excited as well! We weren't going to share on social media until we had our first ultrasound. With each child after the 3rd one, we always braced ourselves for what others would say. Often, we get weird congrats, by which I mean some kind of snarky comment. Perhaps they don't know what to say, because we may seem crazy for wanting a big family at this time in our world. Here is the thing: we have always wanted a big family. Ever since our marriage prep time, the first evaluation asked how many children we wanted. We both chose 5 or more children. Now, how it would happen was all up to our Lord. One thing in our 16 years of marriage and 15 years of parenting that is certain is Divine Providence. He has provided in ways we often can't explain, but we just trust wholeheartedly in Jesus. We are far from perfect; we are completely imperfect, God fearing, God loving, and faithful people. It is not always easy with a big family, but it certainly is our biggest blessing! 

 

I know it seems I have gone off from my story, but this is all on my heart at the moment. Possibly all the negative comments we receive on the occasion we all go out together takes a toll on my momma heart. I also need a lot of healing in this area, because it is not that I care fully what others think, it is more a defense because they feel the need to express their thoughts on our big family and do it in front of our kids. I will share one recent encounter. We decided to give the kids a treat for completing chores each week, and if we attend Mass, it will be given on the way home. Well, we decided to stop at Circle K every week. The first few times, a very nice cashier worker would greet us, but had that look we know so well. It is a wow, you have so many children, look, and I may say something not nice about it. Well, one week after those first few encounters, we had a drink getting spilled incident, and Lucas ran back to get another. Well, she finally said the thing we were holding our breath for. She shared with Lucas how she would get so anxious seeing us come in with everyone and worried we would cause chaos. She complimented how well-behaved they are and how impressed she was with us. Now she calls us her favorite family and seems so genuinely happy to see us! Why I share this is because, as a society, we are not child-friendly anymore, maybe we never were. The opportunity to see us every week gave a stranger the opportunity to see our big family joyful and have a positive view of children. This is possibly what contributes to my stress when going places with our big family. We have to be prepared for rude people and comments we don't need. Maybe their hate or dislike of children is displaced. Did we forget how it was to be childlike? Do we know how to be prolife? Do we know how much joy a child can bring to a broken world? Their innocence and joy are contagious. They are our future. They are precious and so necessary. They are our biggest legacy. 

So, to continue the story, I had already begun feeling sick, not super unusual for me. Each pregnancy is very different, and my morning sickness varies. I had quickly started a supplement for morning sickness to see if it could help make it bearable this time. On Monday, August 25, 2025, I noticed a bit of mucus with blood in it. I have never had spotting in early pregnancy, so it was a bit alarming. Then I instantly got nervous and said a prayer. I didn't tell Lucas until he got home, and he said not to worry. Which helped keep my emotions at bay. The next morning, I had to use the bathroom, so I decided to test then. When I went, I noticed more spotting and actually started cramping. I had purchased a digital pregnancy test and did two of the others I had. Waited, and the line ones timer was up, negative. The digital finally finished, and it read not pregnant. Heartbreak, instant heartbreak. I didn't panic right away and said a silent prayer for God's will to be done. I crawled back into bed, and Lucas noticed I began sobbing. He rolled to me and asked what happened. I shared about the tests, spotting, and mentioned the cramping. He just held me, so tight, and asked what I needed. I sobbed, not to be left alone. Please stay with me, I whispered. The cramping intensified, and the spotting got worse. Lucas let me lie in bed and tried to feed me. I didn't have an appetite until the next day. We let our families know and asked for many prayers. We both researched what to do and how to deal with it all. It is so shocking and alarming. 

Here are what we found to be tremendously helpful. I will share in another post what is helpful from family and friends when someone is going through this. A little about what is encouraging and comforting to hear. 

how-to-bury-your-baby-after-a-miscarriage   catholicmiscarriagesupport 

This prayer was such a huge comfort and peace for us both!

I had not even made an appointment with my ob/gyn yet. It got a bit worse by Wednesday morning; I had more cramping and heavy bleeding by this time. I knew I would pass our little baby this day. I had really been clinging to praying the Chaplet of the Seven Sorrows of Mary. 

 It felt a bit like early labor, except the difficulty is knowing you have to bury your baby. No newborn cuddles or smells. Until this moment, I always thought the hardest thing I had experienced was labor and NICU babies. Now this is the most challenging thing I have experienced. If you were not able to bury your baby, do not feel guilty or ashamed. We each do what we can with what we know at the time. All we could think of was that burying the dead is a Corporal Works of Mercy, and we wanted to honor that. It may seem like a lot to go through to others, but we honor the human dignity of people from conception until natural death.  

If I ever was not kind or gentle enough if you were going through a miscarriage, I am so deeply sorry. I never intended to be inconsiderate or unempathetic. I am truly sorry for your loss/losses, and I do pray for you all! 

We had a rough morning, having such difficult bathroom trips to save what we could of everything that came. I knew when it happened, I had a sharp cramp and could feel something come down. I went to the bathroom alone; Lucas was tending to Violet. But I called him instantly when I could see something on the pad. A piece was still stuck, but as another cramp came over me, I bore down and more of the baby came. We both sobbed and placed the baby in a cup with saline water to help preserve him. We continued and got in contact with my primary care practitioner, who said to call for an appointment with my ob/gyn. We did and got an appointment that afternoon at Lovelace Women's Medical Hospital. We discussed whether to take the baby in, but I told Lucas no. I didn't want them to keep our baby's remains. We knew we had to bury the baby. This is where Father Angelo really helped us and supported us. He answered our call and told us what to do. 

Our family and friends nearby were so beautifully, our communion of Saints during this week. From meals, a basket of goodies for me, plants, cards, and so many, many prayers! I can never thank you all enough for all the love and prayers!!!

In all the chaos of the loss, we couldn't get anyone to take care of the kids while Lucas took me to the doctors. We all went, and they waited in the van while I went in. It was hard to go and sit there; some mommas were coming in with their bellies so full of life. I just offered a prayer of thanksgiving for life and the sacredness of bringing new lives into the world. I prayed for strength and comfort. They finally called me in and confirmed I was having a miscarriage. They explained what would happen and offered condolences. The nurse shared she had actually gone through one recently. So she was very gentle and kind. They also said I could go for a hormone check when I am ready to try again. I thanked them and walked out. When I got to the van, I told Lucas everything they said and cried. I called my mom to tell her what they said, and then my mom-in-law. We drove home and just talked about what to do next. My momma-in-law came over that evening and brought the little box we would bury little Joseph in. We talked and cried. She agreed to talk to one of the Fathers for our special blessing for miscarriages. 

She also brought another box and a beautiful cross holder.

We did a Baptism the next day. Our little Father's Manual and Mother's Manual really have everything you could need as a Catholic Christian parent. ("The Original" Mother's Manual, "The Original Father's Manual: By A. Francis Coomes, S.J.) We chose a boy's name; I just had a feeling that it was a boy. We named him Joseph Louis Daniel. I looked to see what Saint's feast day was on August 25, and it was St. Joseph Calasanz and St. Louis IX of France. We loved them, and my momma-in-law added Daniel because it means "God is my judge." It is the perfect name, and now we have a Saint Joseph Louis Daniel, interceding for us in heaven. It was so hard for Lucas to do the Baptism, and beautiful at the same time. To be able to trust him with leading our family in this difficult time and see him do it with such gentleness and courage was breathtaking. 

That is one of the beautiful graces marriage offers through suffering: you are not alone. Lucas really carried me through and loves me so well. We would each have moments that were difficult, and the other would be comforting. It was such a tender week for us, but one that was filled with grace.  

Friday, August 29th, was when we went in for our blessing with Father Emmanuel. It was so hard this morning. I didn't want to let go of our little baby or bury him. I just wanted to hold him!

Here is the final look, everyone kept adding Sacramentals. I even crocheted a little snuggie for the jar he was in. 

                                                      

Be with Jesus, our sweet little baby boy. Saint Joseph Louis Daniel Hibler, pray for us! We may not know how you look, but we know you were the most precious little baby. We are so grateful for Fr. Emmanuel's words of wisdom. He said, "You can grieve, but remember we have hope. We grieve because life is valued from conception and on. We are grieving the loss of a human person. We keep our faith and coming as a family, like now is a beautiful joy of life. Keep on valuing life and being open to what God has in store." The prayers were also offered for all who have little Saints in Heaven gone too soon! Thank you for all the prayers, they truly strengthen us and help us heal!!! Thank you to all who were present, we are so humbled by your love and support!!! Thanks be to God for the gift of life and His unconditional love for us!!!!!!!

 

   

Violet Valora's Birth Story

 We took a trip to triage Saturday night September 10, I had been contracting for 5 hours, with contractions 1 minute apart for 1 to 2 minutes long and stronger than they have been this pregnancy. I have not progressed any and they slowed down. I was actually not dehydrated so no need for IVs. We were told it was a false alarm and that I should know when it is "time". The thing is every labor has been different and I get the dreaded prodromal labor. I feel like I am doing good with breathing and just allowing my body to do what it needs. Then we head to the hospital and my body just freezes up. I feel like my body can't go into labor on its own and it does not know how to labor. Went in again Monday, September 12 at 10 pm because thought my water might have broke. Started contracting as well. Went in and checked and still the same. Not amniotic fluid was sent home again. 

Had a 38-week appointment and ultrasound to check her growth. Everything looked good but decided it was time to induce and all doctors agreed. We were feeling like they might not be able to get it in that soon. I surrendered and just asked our Lord to let his will be done. At 9:30 am on September 16th, they called to say we could come on September 18 at 8 pm. I was cleaning everything really well and doing last-minute laundry. I planned to rest on Saturday and be ready for our induction Sunday night, we watched a movie as a family and began getting strong contractions. On September 17, started contracting stronger and cramping a lot. We had walked that morning to our town's Pinto Bean fiesta parade. And had started contracting since then. By 12 pm had some bloody show. Took a nap, and put on a warm rice sock to help with cramping. I gave all the little kids baths and had them ready for Religious Education the next morning. By 6 pm had more bloody show and still contracting. They were not too close or consistent so I thought it was early labor and was excited some progress was happening since I had a bloody show. I never saw my mucus plug come out, but I had a lot of trips to the bathroom so probably didn't notice it. Took a nap after dinner and at 7 pm woke up to stronger contractions. I was getting so irritated with everyone but still didn't think I was in active labor. They were still not very close together, just so much cramping and strong. By 9 pm decided to try Tylenol for the cramping and go to bed. My mother-in-law had insisted on coming over but told her it had just started. Well, the Tylenol didn't work much, by 11 pm they got stronger, I rested in between, prayed for all the intentions, and listened to some birth meditations. I still didn't think I was in labor until 1 pm when I started getting nauseous and had such intense contractions, I was beginning to moan through them. When I told my hubby I needed to puke, he knew I was laboring and asked if he should call his mom. I said you probably better. He did and I waddled to the bathroom again. Sat there for a few contractions and thought maybe I am in active labor. But still didn't think I was that close, it tends to get a little hazy when I hit 7 cm through transition. 

I finally got dressed and waddled to the kitchen. As he loaded our bags and got everything we needed. I began to think of just getting a darn epidural. Which is where my mind goes when I am transitioning. It still didn't occur to me that this could be labor and I was so close to meeting our baby girl. I just had the idea that I couldn't labor on my own or that I would go get checked and be sent home just to wait for my induction time. We all have probably heard something discouraging or disappointing in pregnancy, so that makes you doubt so much is hard and needs healing. 

 As we waited for my momma-in-law, I declared to my hubby that I might not be able to do it without an epidural. He just rubbed my back and said whatever I wanted, but that maybe it was close. I cried and said it probably isn't and I am tired. He started praying his mom would hurry. She finally arrived at 2 pm. I got up and had to pause at the door before getting to the car. I got in and settled in a laid-back position. Closed my eyes and just asked for strength, driving for 40 minutes to the hospital seemed torturous at this point. But I asked to just be calm and just be strong. I wanted to be calm because my hubby had to focus on driving and getting us there safely. We both had an unspoken realization, that we could possibly have her on the way to the hospital. I know we both prayed to make it safely and whatever our Lord's will.

I didn't speak the whole way and just breathed, moaned, and got through each surge that hit me. I felt on the last one like my water might break, but I prayed it wouldn't yet. He got us there in 30 minutes and parked close by. He asked if I could get out and all I said was if I want an epidural just let me. He said yes whatever you want, let us just get in the hospital. Can you walk? I thought maybe at least to the emergency room. But as another hit me while walking in I felt so much pressure and had to hold my front belly and butt. I sat there moaning and breathing. Finally, a nice man came with a wheelchair and took us up. As a big surge of pain hit my leg began trembling and that is when I realized that I was in labor and she was coming soon! 

We got to triage at 2:30 am and the nurse asked if I could pee in a cup and I shook my head no. She asked if I felt pressure and I said yes lots. She yelled for the head nurse who ran in and asked if she could check me. I said in a minute as I stood and moaned. I finally got on the bed and she said when you are ready lift your knees up. I did and she said oh yeah, bulging bag of water, you are going to have your baby! 

I was so relieved and also shocked. They quickly moved me to labor and delivery and started setting up everything. The midwife was in there fast and asked to take a look as I quickly undressed. She said oh yeah baby is there and the fluid is meconium stained, we are calling in the neonatologists. I was laying on my side and she asked if I wanted her to break my bag of water. I said yes please, I am ready. So on my back, I got and a painful pop with gushing fluid going everywhere. That was at 2:37 am and said I could push on the next contraction. So at 2:40 am, I started pushing and then stopped a bit to catch my breath. Tried again but then stopped right before the burn. The midwife instructed me to push longer, encouraging me I was doing so good. I knew what it meant and took a big breath and at 2:44 am after three pushes, Violet Valora arrived into the world. All slimy with vernix and beautiful!! She was placed on my tummy and didn't cry right away, which when meconium is present is a good thing because they can clear it out before they inhale it. She was suctioned a bit and rubbed, then gave a little cry! I was so happy and relieved to hear that cry. To be holding her and seeing her sweet face was so amazing! My placenta came faster than other births and I felt it more this time. I actually got to see it and we even took pictures. They clamped her cord and Daddy cut it. I put her up on my chest and we were given clean, warm blankets. They examined everything with no tears, just a scrape. She looked good and I was filled with such joy! We had such a beautiful birth, one I did think I needed. I had prayed for a natural birth and our Lord gave me my heart's desire. 

Violet Valora Hibler 

7 lbs 3oz 

20 1/2" 

13" head circumference

We are so grateful for all the prayers, gifts, help, and love throughout this pregnancy and for Violet!!! Thanks be to God!!!!!

Birth Announcment Baby #6

 Birth announcement of baby #6

Violet Valora Hibler

Born: September 18, 2022

Time: 2:44 am

Weighed: 7lbs. 3oz.

Length: 20 1/2" inches

We appreciate the prayers! 

Anuncio de nacimiento de bebe #6

Violeta Valora Hibler

Nacida: Septiembre 18, 2022

Hora: 2:44 am

Peso: 7 libras 3 onzas

Larga: 20 1/2" pulgadas

Nosotros apreciamos todas las oraciones!

The Blessing of Children

 "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers." --St. Teresa of Calcutta

I have been reflecting on the blessing of children. Yes, it is hard and arduous work to mother so many, but it is good. Sure, I get tired, annoyed, frustrated. I am human after all. They are a blessing, especially because I am undeserving of them and their love. 

I honestly pray that everyone would just love children. That they could see the value of children. That they would treat them with dignity and love. That they could truly treasure them as gifts. That they could see what joy and wonder they bring. That they could honestly see God in their hearts and pray for them. 

I have always found children fascinating. I honestly didn't want any children. Until I met Lucas and wanted tons, lol. Now, I see each of our children and am so humbled. Humbled by the precious gift of life. Humbled to have the ability to bear and nourish our babies. Humbled to be given so many children to teach, care for, and love them. Humbled to see them grow and become loving little humans despite our failings. Humbled to be entrusted a person, made in the image of God, to care for. 

So thanks be to God, for all our children! Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to give of ourselves daily and for calling us to love unconditionally!!       

This song is beautiful!! 

Our children...ages 11, 9, 8, 4, 2, and in the womb!!!

Bella's Gingerbread

 This is a story about a simple, fun, and tasty tradition I started 12 years ago. It has become a very meaningful and special tradition for our family. It all started when I first became an Auntie, 13 years ago. 

My sister who is four years younger than I, became pregnant as a teenager. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Yzabella, we call her Bella for short. She was born in December. She is married to Bella's Daddy and they have two more precious children, along with their dogs. I had to give a little back story to my infamous gingerbread. My Bella is turning 13 years old this week and I can't believe it!!

These gingerbread came about wanting to make a fun tradition when Bella was a 1 year old. I wanted to have something fun for my niece and make Christmas time special. One that is always filled with hope, peace, joy, and love. Because even in an unexpected pregnancy none of the difficulties and sacrifice can make it any less beautiful and precious. 

I want to tell my sister thank you for choosing to give life to your precious daughter. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of witnessing her birth all those years ago. It is a moment imprinted on my heart forever! To see you give of yourself so selflessly was something so beautiful to witness and it makes me so proud to be your sister! Also, thank you to my brother in law for staying with my sister and choosing to be a father. I believe a father is not made when a baby is born, like a mother. They are made when they sacrifice for, care for, and love that child. He has demonstrated all these actions throughout the years and I am so proud to have him as a brother in law! 

Bella's gingerbread means so much to me and what they represent. Thanks be to God for the gift of children, family, and love!!! <3:) 

Bella home and about a week old!

Bella's first gingerbread making party!

The first gingerbread I ever made!

Advent Traditions

Thought I would make a post about our Advent traditions. We try to have a time of preparation starting with the first Sunday of Advent. On that first Sunday of Advent we also celebrate with a cake/treat and a special dinner since it is our church's New Liturgical Year. We usually decorate for Christmas the day before the first Sunday of Advent. We also read this beautiful "The Night before Advent" by Ann Voskamp poem. We have grateful hearts for all we have been blessed with this year! 

We have our Advent wreath and every week focus on the meaning of each color. We pray an Advent prayer every Sunday at dinner time and light the candle for that week. The prayers we use can be found here and they also give a brief history of the Advent wreath. When we first were married, we always reflected on our childhood and traditions we had. We agreed on ways we would celebrate Christmas and what traditions we wanted to observe with our family. The Advent wreath was one of our first traditions we did and still do.

Did you know that each candle has a certain color and meaning. First week: purple candle for HOPE, second week: purple candle for PEACE, third week: pink candle for JOY, fourth week: purple candle for LOVE. Once it is Christmas Eve you change the candles to all white. In order to help young children better incorporate with meaning of the Advent season, I saw an Advent promise worksheet on Pinterest that I recreated.

So the kids have to think of a way to serve and express an act for each one. You change it according to their age and what they know they can accomplish. It helps them think about others and how they can demonstrate love by serving others. 

We also have a Brother Francis video which I won last year in a giveaway. It is a video with clips you watch everyday during Advent. It is beautifully made for children and there is a challenge you work on every day as a family during the Advent season. The kids really enjoyed it last year and are looking forward to it again this year.

We also don't do Santa on Christmas. We celebrate St. Nick on his feast day December 6th. The kids put out their boots the night before by our front door. We usually get them something that will enrich their faith or books, chocolate coins, an orange and something they need. We love the CCC St. Nick video because it shows how much he loved our Lord and how he served others. We also have this book about St. Nicholas.

We also put our baby Jesus from our Nativity in a green velvet box under the tree. On Christmas morning we say a prayer together and the youngest kid opens up the baby Jesus. They get to place Him in the Manger, which makes it special for them. We want our focus on Christmas to be on Jesus as our most important gift. Last year we went to Mass on Christmas morning and came home to open gifts after our prayer. We do give gifts on Christmas and it is something they want, need, and read/watch. This year we got them a book called "Advent Storybook: 24 Stories to Share Before Christmas" by Antonie Schneider, illustrated by Maja Dusikovaa.


Another little thing we do is get rid of toys that still work and donate them. We also have an Advent Calendar of the Nativity Scene, I made it out of felt and print outs with velcro. The kids take turns putting up the person/animal/object of the day.

Christmas time brings a lot of busy schedules and rushing around. Although this year will look different with this pandemic, I think it can be a great time for little acts of charity towards others.
We also incorporate crafts on feast days such as St. Nicholas, Immaculate Conception, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the Holy Family.

This year we are going to be doing a couples thing. Lucas was gifted from his Godfather the "Consecration to St. Joseph" by Donald H. Calloway, MIC. We will have a 33- day journey to the feast day of the Holy Family for our consecration day. We are excited for this journey as now is the time for St. Joseph!
Hope this gives you some ideas for traditions to incorporate for your family! Feel free to share your traditions!


May this Advent season bring you all hope, peace, joy, and love!!! :)<3

A Healing Heart

We are about to have another Sacred Heart of Jesus feast day celebration. Our family has a special devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus now, more than ever. In this post I go into detail why and here is what happened. When I was about to have Gregory the unknowns about his heart were so scary. I am so grateful for his health and he is 1 year old now!

It is always so hard to deal with trials. I am sharing how I have had to heal over this year from the weight of all the fears. It was hard to be brave, when we had to see a pediatric cardiologist. It was hard to hear they were not sure what would happen. It was hard to not be sad that we could have a baby with a heart defect. It was hard to have faith.

We didn't have a lack of faith in God's healing power. We truly believe He can heal and work miraculously. I was simply afraid to ask for a healing, because in my heart I really wanted Gregory to be healthy. I didn't want him to have a heart defect. I didn't want to be brave enough to face it all, if he did. But what if it was God's plan to give us baby with a heart defect? God has plan for us we often don't understand. We sometimes want things that may not be necessary or even good for us.

I wanted whatever God willed. Saying that requires a kind of faith that knows God is still in the midst of us even when it is darkest. See I believe that we are sometimes called to suffer. Does it seem weird to believe it? Maybe.

Romans 5:1-5 says, "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access [by faith] to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that been given to us." 

So maybe not weird to believe this. None of us are exempt from suffering. I have been through enough to know, that if something is happening in my life that is causing me suffering I need to be brave enough to face it with faith. I always ask for the strength and courage to face whatever happens with love. I know there is a process my heart needs to go through to gain understanding, as hard as it can be sometimes. Part of my hearts process at that time, was not to ask for a healing. Afterall how many parents have not asked for healings for their children with tons more faith and it just was not the plan. God has a plan, even when it is painful. There is beauty in that suffering when we are united to Christ. It also doesn't mean He loves others more.

I began a novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. As I gazed at our huge image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus...

I thought why not do a novena to the Sacred Heart, for a heart defect. I started it March 18, 2019 and did it for nine days, I wasn't asking for a healing for Gregory's heart. I asked for strength to be able to deal with whatever God willed for him. Once I finished the first nine days, something changed in my prayers and heart. I continued praying the novena until Gregory was born. The change was I finally felt I needed to fully surrender, Gregory. Through prayers from all our family and friends God spoke to me. I heard, God say, "He is my beloved child, just let go, let him come to me and I will take care of him." When I say surrender him to God, all parents know that we are given children to raise. Ultimately they do not belong to us, they are God's. So in my heart, I knew, in order to not be so stressed and anxious, I needed to surrender. I told Lucas, we needed to pray to surrender Gregory. We did, we told our Lord, that His will be done, we trust Him with Gregory, no matter what the outcome. How often do we praise God in our trials, how often do we believe He is good even when we are suffering? Our surrender was a vital part of our journey in that precise moment. As difficult as it was, it was freeing. I began thereafter to ask for his heart to be healed. I had a peace with everything, finally.

Once he was born, we took it hour by hour. Every intervention and care he needed was necessary. He was so well cared for and we were informed of everything going on. Every echocardiogram that he had would reveal that his heart was truly healed. It was the longest week of my life. After all we went through for Gregory's birth, being in the NICU for a week, and not being able to rest properly after giving birth, I am still so grateful. Grateful because with our Lord's loving kindness and strength, Gregory Ellis is healthy. His heart is absolutely perfect, no narrowing, no coarctation, no murmur, just a strong beating heart. My heart needed a healing in faithful surrender and that is just what happened. Thanks be to God for He is good!! Sacred Heart of Jesus, grant us peace and protection. <3

This is Gregory Ellis with his Jesus he received on Easter.

Little cutie, enjoying ice cream at 14 months old. 

Marriage: A Sanctifying Grace

 As our anniversary approaches this year, I wanted to share about the graces that we have received through the Sacrament of Marriage. We always reflect on what truly keeps our marriage surviving and thriving. The conclusion for us is simply the Sacraments. It can be difficult, at times, to see that they really make a difference. The truth is they do and it can be a healing. Marriage takes sacrifice and a lot of love. That love stems, foremost from a love for God first, in order to love any other person. Especially, to love your spouse with an unconditional love that God calls us to experience in a marriage. The world can easily distort that love God is calling us to. I want share about the sacrifices we have made and graces we have received these past 11 years. 

 Often we are afraid to sacrifice. Let us look at the definition of sacrifice. An act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy. Sacrifice is seen throughout the Bible. From the Old Testament examples are of offerings sacrificed to the Lord. In the New Testament the ultimate sacrifice of Christ on the cross for us. These are sacrifices of blood for the renewal of a promise. The sacrifice definition I gave is one that sometimes can have a negative perspective. I believe we are called to sacrifice from time to time. Although it needs to come from a place of humility and love which can be so beautiful. 

 In marriage we constantly sacrifice. We give of ourselves at our marriage vows. Matthew 19:5-6, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two but one flesh..." We are joined as one in our Lord. This can be seen as a sacrifice because we must learn to put one another first and compromise. 

  
 In Romans 12:1-2 it says, "I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect." If we see this in the context of marriage, it is a call to be set apart for Christ as living sacrifices for each other. There are times when we sacrifice something of ourselves for the good of another. 

We have been married since 2009 and have five children. We met in college through a mutual friend. We married while still going to school, so sacrifice was a big part of our marriage from the beginning. Early in our marriage when we became parents for the first time we had to make sacrifices. We were both still in school full time and working part time. We had to take turns with our school schedule, so one of us was always with our son. During our marriage prep we both knew we wanted to have me staying home as the primary caretaker of our children. Since we were still in school we had to compromise by sharing the load of caretaker with each other and even have extra support from my parents. The semester I was due with our first son my school load was light. I had to also postpone my practicum semester in order to have a baby.

It was hard to not do as much because of our child, but it was a necessary sacrifice we both made. We both had to compromise and work so hard to be able to receive our Bachelor degrees. We may have taken longer to finish, but we did it! Our marriage and family didn't suffer from it because of our willingness to sacrifice and to work hard. So sacrifice is good for us. It calls us to humility and love. It calls us to deny ourselves so Christ can be King of our hearts and lives. 

Now sacrifice can also bring a grace into your life. In marriage we can experience a sanctifying grace. Sanctify: to be set apart as holy. 
We are called to be set apart from the world.Here are a few verses throughout the Bible that calls us to be set apart for Christ:

  Deuteronomy 14:2 says, "For you are a people holy to the Lord, your God; the Lord, your God, has chosen you from all the peoples on the face of the earth to be a people specially his own." 

  Jeremiah 1:5 says, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you." 

  2 Timothy 1:9-10 says, "He saved us and called us to a holy life, not according to our works but according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began, but now made manifest through the appearance of our savior Christ Jesus, who destroyed death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel..." 

  1 John 1:1-3 says, "See what love the Father has bestowed on us that we may be called the children of God. Yet so we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed. We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope based on him makes himself pure, as he is pure." 

Marriage can be a light that shines with holiness and love to a dark world. We need grace in marriage because, let's face it, we are all sinners and fall short. Recently I had what I call little "conversions". Even as we mature spiritually there are always things to be learned. Sometimes it is the same lesson, but shed in a different light. One of those "conversions" is the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I always believed in the grace that is offered with a contrite heart, but lacked the wisdom that it can truly bring. The beauty offered in reconciling your heart to God and knowing you are forgiven is indescribable. We often reflect on our relationship as husband and wife and parents. Going to confession has always been a little hard for us. To be honest it, was mostly laziness and shame that kept us from going regularly. In the past 2 years I have experienced a little conversion in a big way. As Matthew Kelley says, "The Sacraments are a close encounter of Jesus Christ to transform us spiritually." 

Witnessing how full of grace Lucas was after going to confession regularly was heart changing. I was getting so bitter with him and our children. My own sin and shame was distancing me from the joy that can come by knowing Christ has forgiven me and loves me! This caused a huge transformation for me spiritually. I finally humbled myself and admitted how good it felt to go to confession regularly. I am free in Christ and it has made my relationship with God stronger. It also is making me a better wife and momma. 

 So this is where marriage can bring a sanctifying grace. We love each other through our dark days and our bright ones. We prayerfully decide things together. We sacrifice for each other to help one another get to Heaven, someday. This is  our ultimate goal in marriage, after all. It is not always easy, but it is a journey that has been beautiful so far, even in our trials. 

 So I pray that you see your journey as beautiful too! Keep persevering and loving!! :)<3 

Lucas and I 

June 13, 2009

I love this picture of our hands! This was taken for our 

engagement pictures by a friend. It is a reminder that we are with one another to carry each through life. 

Holdfast my lovely

I have been reflecting a lot on how raising a daughter is different from raising a son. I have four boys and one girl. She is dab in the middle of the boys. It has been an interesting dynamic for our family. I grew up with only sisters, so the thought of having only one girl makes me sad sometimes. After having our third son, I realized God gives us just what we need. No more, no less. We also hear lot about how girls are so much harder than boys to raise. That we are luckily we dodged having more girls because they are dramatic. To some point I agree we are a bit more dramatic, I grew up with three sisters all younger than I. So I know drama, lol, especially our teenage years. Here is the thing though, we are really good friends now. We love each other and are very different, but we have a strong and lasting sisterhood with one another. I don't know if we would have been easier on my parents had we all been boys. I do know they love us and don't think we were difficult due to our gender.
Everyone also keeps saying she can be the princess. To be honest she would rather have a sister, than be a princess. She does love all things girly, but she is also tough and can hold her own with her brothers. She still says I really wish I had a sister, but my brothers are the cutest. She does play well with all them and that is a blessing. 
Hold-fast means something to which something else may be firmly secured. This word comes to mind when I think of my tough and sassy little girl. I want her to be dependent on God and know He loves her beyond measure. I want to her to discover her feminine genius at an early age. To embrace that God has made her beautiful, unique, and strong. To not ever let the world tell her she is not enough. To believe she is worthy of unconditional love and to be respected. 

Karissa playing dress up in one of my dresses.

Who knows we may one day give her a sister! She would just love it so much and having another daughter would be an amazing blessing!! :) <3 

Lenten Activities Update

I thought I would update our Lenten/Easter Activities. We do some things differently, since the kids are older. We still do our Lenten/Easter tree. When we first started this we did the Bible verses, but now I do this Lenten sacrifice on a cross or crown from Catholic Inspired. On our crosses we put a special sacrifice we want to do during Lent. Then on Holy week we switch them out with our Easter tree decorations. I found these new eggs from the dollar tree, my old ones were heavy and broke branches.

We usually do the calendar from Catholic Icing, but this year the kids got some from Religious Education. They open a window everyday and it has a Bible verse.

 

One year we also did a sacrifice bean jar, but with a busy toddler that gets into everything, we will not do it this year. 

Last year we bought some neat Lenten Resolutions pages from Catholic Icing. We like that they are interactive and fun! Plus they help you stay accountable. Every year as the kids get older, they can be more understanding of sacrifices. This year we all gave up the same thing, sweets. You would be surprised how well kids can do with giving up things. They all can help each other and encourage one another. There are some really neat Lenten planning sheets that help you organize everything. You can get some if you subscribe to her newsletter, Catholic Icing. 

We chose as a family to also use our monthly eating out fund to give to the Rice Bowls. We always do a lot of clutter cleaning and donate items we don't need anymore.
As a family we take up praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet every night during Lent. We pray every night anyways, but like to add to the experience different forms of prayer. This year we are also going to our Parish's Penance service together, since our oldest has received this Sacrament. We would also like to add a Stations of the Cross every Friday. We are doing the Brother Francis one so it is kid friendly and engaging. Our kids love the Brother Francis videos. Teaching our children about prayer, fasting, and alms giving with rich experiences is an important aspect of our faith. So they can understand better the sacrifice Jesus made for us and give a little back to Him.
On Holy week we try to go to Holy Thursday Mass. It is such a beautiful Mass to attend, even with children.
For Easter we die eggs and have a nice picnic feast with an egg hunt. I decorated some fake eggs with the Easter Story on them, for added decorating. I also made a Resurrection garden that we place on our altar, idea from Pinterest.

These are what we during Lent, hope they encourage you to add them too! We pray you have a Lent full of growth and remember how much our Lord loves you!!! :)<3

NFP for our marriage 2

Since it is NFP awareness week thought I would share how it looks for our marriage. We have used the Creighton Model NaProEducation Technology for 10 years. 

Before we got married, 10 years ago, I never even considered birth control as part of how we would have children or not have children to be more correct. Even back in 2008 when I was having issues menstruating regularly and my doctor recommended taking birth control, I didn't. Part of me always knew it was not natural for my body to be on synthetic hormones. My doctor said it could help alleviate my painful cysts I was getting and help regulate my period. I didn't dismiss it completely but really wondered if this was my only option. So I just carried on and suffered through.
Fast forward to spring 2009 about two months before we got married. When we found a Creighton Method instructor. She was in El Paso, Texas at the time and we drove 45 minutes for all our appointments. She worked with your income as far as payment, we were still college students. We paid a total of $100 plus gas for traveling to follow up appointments. A life time investment for our marriage that is priceless.  We really enjoyed this time of learning about charting because it was a Catholic woman teaching us, it was actually more spiritual of a marriage prep then our actual in church marriage prep. Which is vital for the Sacrament of Marriage. We understood what my body was doing and how to pray accordingly each month on achieving or avoiding a pregnancy those first months as a married couple. It helped make our communication strong and open. I know I often viewed my cycles with hate before understanding my fertility. Now I see that my body is pretty awesome and I know what is happening with it every month. When I don't know I have a book that helps explain things such as hormonal issues that may be occurring. I always viewed my cycle with dread and shame, but learning about what my body was doing helped me change that perspective. It helped me value my fertility and understand what a great gift it is. As a person that values women and their bodies, learning about your fertility is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself.
I wanted to share a practical view on how NFP works for us. The Creighton Model Method we use has a term for how to better your marriage perspective, it is the SPICE acronym for spiritual, physical, intellectual, creative/communicative, and emotional/psychological. This practice helps us have a better dialogue, mutual respect for each other, shared responsibility, and self-control and self-mastery. Here is a quote from our Creighton Model FertilityCare System book by Dr. Thomas Hilgers, "Furthermore, it considers fertility as a part of health and not disease. In the current contraceptive culture in which we live, human fertility is viewed mostly from the point of view of a disease. The contraception, sterilization and abortion programs that dominate family planning choices all rely upon either suppressing or destroying the procreative capability. But with the Creighton Model System, it is through knowledge and understanding of the cycle of the woman and eventually the fertility cycle of the couple. When fertility is observed as a part of health rather than a part of disease, it is seen as a friend, not an enemy; it is seen as something that is good and not a burden; it is viewed as something to be worked with rather than opposed. It leads to a respect for the body of the spouse." With that said I will take you through each of the SPICE terms and explain how we make it work for us.
Spiritual is the first term on it so of course prayer is important for us as a married couple. We have evolved our prayer life individually as well as a couple. We also had to figure out how to add our children. Prayer for us is huge! It is so powerful and a way to communicate with God. We have learned how to be in tune to each others needs spiritually. For example Lucas just attended the Steubenville West in Tucson with our Parish's youth. It was not easy for me to be alone with all the kids for the weekend (cheated by having Grama come over Saturday and Sunday), but I knew that it would be good for him to go with students from his Confirmation class. It helped him renew his passion for music and teaching Confirmation again. Another thing is that our children see that being spiritual and close to our Lord is important to us. The best example is that we go to Mass together as a family, unless sick. It is the greatest thing you can do for your children, to bring them to Christ. Spiritual is probably our most nurtured area.
Physical is next. First of all I am not a very physically affectionate person to begin with. That being said, it is something that is part of every person. To be physically close to people is important as well. It helps nurture a relationship to show affection physically. So I have definitely learned how to be open to it, especially becoming a mother, lol. For our marriage it is hard to find that middle ground. Lucas is more physically affectionate for sure, it is actually his top love language (more about that later). Now obviously understanding the difference between what this method calls arousal or affirming touch helps to determine whether you will achieve or avoid a pregnancy that month. In other words, yes there are times we have to abstain from the act of intercourse. To be honest it is not that much time that you have to abstain. I hear a lot of couples say it is really hard to abstain. We have to be creative and considerate of one another because of our love for one another. If we are finding it hard then we need to pray more about how our family is growing and whether now is a good time for more children. Pray for self-control and to be responsible about our choices. If it was really hard and we just went with how we felt all the time, we probably would have double the amount of children we have now, lol. So for us our physical relationship is pretty great and creative. You just have to find other ways to be intimate physically  besides intercourse.
Intellectual is really a cool component. As lovers of learning and growing this method has helped nurture that part of us. We have to be smart about our choices. In other words we have to be constantly evaluating whether we are achieving or avoiding a pregnancy every month. It keeps things real and we have perspective on how things are going for our family. It actually takes thinking about what we are doing. For example after we had our daughter, we had a 3 year gap before trying to achieve a pregnancy. We had just moved cities for a job and had to get used to that move. We were not in a great place financially to grow our family. This is a time when it was hard to abstain at fertile times because we wanted more children, but financially couldn't. So you can see how it helps you grow intellectually to use this method.
Creative/communicative has been mentioned here and there in the others. We got a better understanding of how to communicate our love creatively by learning each other's love language. We read a book called, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It really changed our marriage for the better by understanding that each person has a love language they speak. It seriously was a game changer for us to better nurture our relationship. Being married is not easy by any means, so having an understanding that we each show love differently really helped. It also helped us gain perspective of the other's way to express love. My top love language is acts of service and Lucas' is physical touch. The book gives great tips on how to nurture each love language and fill that love tank. For example when I am feeling an empty love tank, Lucas simply throwing out the trash or doing dishes is huge for me. Lucas' love tank can be filled with a simple affirming hug or back rub. These are also examples of how to be creative with our physical relationship. Of course being free to discuss things that bother you and not feel shame in expressing those feelings.
Emotional/psychological is important for any relationship. It is good to be able to express your feelings openly and not be criticized. In a marriage it takes balance to achieve this. For example we don't get to have date nights often, especially now with five kiddos, but we have to find time to talk. Often we stay up after everyone is sleeping to talk or just cuddle uninterrupted. We obviously are not perfect, so this one is probably the one that is often neglected the most. One thing we started doing is writing each other love notes. When we were dating and engaged that was one big show of love. So we made a digital note on our phones that has letters back and forth. We don't have to respond to each and every note, but just getting to express our love through writing helps and it has always been something we enjoy doing. We also have a synced calendar so we know what is going on in the other one's day. Little things like this help keep our emotions in check and considerate of one another. 
So these things are how NFP works in our marriage. Even though we are far from perfect we have been happily married for 10 years. We believe NFP is the best choice for every marriage because it helps us to be healthy, holy and of course happy. So whether you do or don't use any form of NFP, I challenge you to ask yourself why or why not. If you do use it reflect back on why you choose it to begin with. If you don't use it, what have you got to lose? Don't pass up something that can empower you individually and enhance your marriage. May the Lord bless your marriages and help you to be truly free, faithful, fruitful, and total!! <3:)

 Lucas and I for our 10th Wedding Anniversary

June 13, 2019

Our family along with Father Leon, Grama Georgie*, and Auntie Becky*(included with our sleeping youngest)